color blind | e.d

xiv. bonding

Ethan's P.O.V

My eyes feel itchy and quite swollen when I wake up. My mind is foggy. Have I been crying? There's a knock at my door while I check my alarm clock: 7:43 a.m.

"Ethan," Grayson whispers softly, cracking the door just a bit.

"Hm?" I crane my neck to the side to see him better.

"Mom wants you to get up. We have chores to do." Instead of firing up an attitude, I drag myself out of bed and find something to change into after my shower. I'm still in the same clothes as last night. . .

Then I remember: I nearly lost my entire world. There's a deep crushing pain in my chest, causing me to pause and reflect on my actions. How stupid could I possibly be?

"Oh, and why were you crying last night? I heard you talking but couldn't understand what you were saying because I drifted off to sleep."

"Why were you eavesdropping?" I ask sharply. Grayson knows I hate when he eavesdrops, especially when we already tell each other everything. "There's no need in that when I could've told you this morning!"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't wait that long," he says guiltily with his head bowed. I sigh, shaking my head and patting his shoulder.

"I'll tell you everything after my shower, okay? But you have to promise me that you won't tell a soul," I say lowly in his ear. He looks at me.

"Have I ever told anyone anything we talk about?"

"No."He walks away silently and down into the kitchen.

The steaming hot water isn't hot enough to burn me, but it's enough to turn me into a strawberry. The steam isn't enough to choke me, but it's enough to cloud my thoughts. I stare at the wall, replaying every moment in my head, from the time I dumped her to the moment we bounced back. My heart clenches.

I rub my eyes to make sure I'm still sane while running a hand through my hair, squeezing the ends of it. Maybe it's time for a real change. I need to get my shit together, even if I have to delete people I love.

"Good morning, Ethan," my mom kisses my forehead while sitting a stack of pancakes in front of me. The morning is starting off just right.

"Good morning," I say back, because she's actually someone who hasn't given me bullshit this week. I just wish summer would come a bit faster.

"I have to go run some errands real quick. Do you think you might want to invite April over to come and chill?" she asks while leaning up against the door frame. She doesn't know, and she isn't going to know.

"Gray and I were going to work out. I'll ask her if she wants to work out."

"Remember to lock up the house and bring the key with you. If you forget there's another key under the mat," my mom grabs her keys, kissing my brother and me on the forehead. She hugs me a little longer. I feel that she does know something I don't.

"Hey, Mom, before you go. Where's Dad?" Grayson questions with a mouth full of cereal. I leave the room because he is a sensitive subject to me, and all it leaves is more hatred in my heart.

"He's... away for a while. I'll be back, we can discuss this later, okay?" It's all she says before she exits, leaving Gray to contemplate stupidly.

"She means they are separating as of right now. My actions caused this. Dating someone caused this," I say lowly, mentally beating myself up for everything.

"Why are you beating yourself up?" he asks in a caring manner. "You cannot help who you fall in love with. Grandma and Dad are just very old time-y, they like to keep things the way it used to be. And I'm sure in Grandma's day she at least gave a black man a look."

"What makes you so confident?"

"Everyone in their lifetime looks at a person of color at least once if not more," she says this obviously, trying to make me look dumb. I shrug.

"I'm going to call April over. Maybe she'll want to chill."

"Netflix and chill?" I try to hide the smirk from my features.

"Grayyyy, not now!" He snickers as I go to clean my room, deciding to be productive for the first time in thirteen years.

I make my bed, clean my room, and even reorganize. I needed something to keep my mind busy while I plot on how I will talk to April, especially after everything we've been through. I know I'm only seventeen, but at times, I feel like I want to marry her.

"Hello?" April picks up after three rings once I called her cell number. Her voice seems steady to me, which encourages me to be strong. She doesn't fully hate me.

"Hey, beautiful," I say like it's her name. I know she loves it. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over? You know, maybe get a fresher start from last night..."

"Depends."

"What do you mean?" The worst starts to play in my head.

"I have to run a few errands today with a few friends, but I'm free at six. How does that sound?" Something in her voice hides, but I don't want to cause any more problems. Something in me tells me to ask anyway.

"Are you seeing someone else?" The question comes out blunt yet sharply, a butterfly feeling in my stomach following in suite.

"What the hell, Ethan!" April screams, and I realize that was the worst move I could've made.

"I'm sorry, I've been very disoriented lately, forgive me," I say quickly, hoping to fix this. I can already see her huff and cross her arms in pure hatred and fire.

"You about to make me bust a fucking cap in yo' ass if you keep talking to me like you half crazy!" she says angrily, and I've unleashed a whole other inner soul. I've never seen this side of April. She's usually always classy.

"April, chill. I know, I crossed the line and I regret it. I'm sorry. Baby just come to me," I whine now, in hopes to let her cave in so she can calm down. I want her, I need her, I love her.

She hesitates for a moment before letting out a shaky breath. "All right, fine. I'll be over at three instead," she caves. I've done it. I've won her back over.

"Yayyy," I cheer like a happy little kid, smirking.

"Don't get ya hopes up. But keep fucking with me and I'll be sure to end you right here, right now," she says jokingly, but something also tells me she isn't, so I don't push any further than I had.

"Okay. I love youuuu," I sing.

"I love you," she says, hanging up. My heart is happy and my mind is starting to clear up.

"Sounds like fun," Grayson says, causing me to jump. He's eavesdropping.

"I think there's a disease out there for people who like to eavesdrop, its called being nosy," I shoot at him.

"There's a remedy, it's called what's your business my business, too." I glance at him. We stare at each other awkwardly before we end up in laughter.

"That made no sense!"

"None at all!"

A/N
Admit it: you read the last two lines in their voice in your head because I know I did 😭 sorry updates have been slow, I have been working on my new book... and spring break is almost up 😭