Chapter 1

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Two years after Tatara and Mikoto died , Yata became ill . Not sickly ill , but a sickness no one could see . A head sickness , depression and anxiety. It  wasn't discovered by the rest of HOMRA until it was to late .

It started out a normal day Izumo in the bar cleaning glasses for drinks and Anna playing with her red marbles . Yata came in late again "Yata are you feeling well ? " Izumo asked . He glanced at him and did the best fake smile he could give "I'm ok just tired ." He didn't want to stay at Izumo because  he was ashamed . Yata was taking antidepressants , and he didnt want anyone to know . He felt weak at this point .

He knew he couldn't keep it from anna cuz she felt everyone's pain . So he told her he was just upset about personal stuff and that he didnt want anyone to know  .

                      -PAST EVENT-
Anna walked up to Yata "your sad aren't you ?" Yata looked at her " I'm fine Anna just some personal stuff I'm upset about. " He smiled at her " ok Yata " .

                   -PRESENT TIME-
He sat on the sofa as if nothing was bothering him , Anna glanced at him with a sad expression and then went back to what she was doing . "Would you like anything to drink Yata " Izumo asked from behind the counter . "No thanks Izumo." Yata had this feeling like he'd throw up if he had anything to drink or eat . So he had to decline .

Right on time Rikio came in . "Hey" he shouted over to them . "Hello Rikio" Izumo said . In the softest tone anna replied "hi".

Worthless , stupid , fake  ran through his head , and he couldnt stop it . Yata got up and ran out of the bar trying to make it out before his eyes filled with tear . Failing at getting out before then , but he managed to make it out before the tears fell . He stopped running when he reached a far enough alleyway where the others couldn't walk out back and see him . He fell to his knees and cried .

He stayed in the alleyway for an hour before he got a call from Izumo . God he didnt want to answer due to the fact his voice was shakey . So he ignored it and sent it to his voicemail 'Hello this is Yata , I'm not available right now , leave ur name and number and ill get back to you ' Then his phone chimmed to let him know Izumo left a voicemail .

He opened his phone and checked it "Hi Yata its me Izumo , you seemed upset and we're all worried . Get back to me when you can . 'we love you Yata ' . " Anna chimmed in at the end of it . That made him feel alittle better . and he was trying to calm himself down But nothing worked .

Yata had been seeing a therapist since Tatara ...died . That was one of his secrets . And most of the time it worked to talk to her . But nothing seemed to kill these urges to hurt someone or himself . So he did the unthinkable , hurt himself . He always carried a pocket knife , something his mother had given him in middle school . And drew a line in his skin , watched as his blood ran down his hand .

He felt numb and he kept drawing , all reason had left his head at the moment . He knew he couldn't tell anyone what he'd done . Not even his love . He'd Just wear long sleeves until it healed . He wiped the blood with a tissue he had in this pocket and pulled down his sleeves .

Yata walked back to the bar . Trying the best to hide that he'd been crying . Izumo knew Yata to well cause as soon as he walked in , Izumo sighed and hugged him . "Its alright "Izumo whispered . Yata hugged back and sniffled from the runny nose he had .

It was already nightfall before they knew it . Yata got up to leave but Izumo called after him , stopping Yata in his tracks . " Stay tonight Yata" he said . "I can't Izumo " He replied sadly . "And why not ?" Izumo wouldn't give up on this so he agreed but he left everything .

Izumo was hot laying next to him , It made Yata very uncomfortable . "you know you wouldn't be so hot if u took of ur sweater." He said " Its ok , I'm not that hot  " . Yata absolutely did not what to take off his shirt and reveal his arms . He'd rather take his chances with the heat coming from Izumo .

Yata woke up with heat flashes and nightmares . He looked over at Izumo to see him sleeping peacefully with his arms wrapped around Yata's waist . He couldn't go back to sleep so he grabbed his phone and played games until Izumo turned and let go of him . He didnt get up till then cause he didn't wanna wake Izumo by getting out of bed and moving his arms .  

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