Dreams and Reality

The New Kid

All my childhood life I spent moving around. I've been to a total of four different school districts before finally settling down in fifth grade. The first school I was in lasted until second grade. I only had a few friends. Everyone else was either an aquantance or bullied me.

Then I moved to another school. That school was even worse. I had only one friend. No one else paid me any mind. That one friend had a crush on me. But only for the first month I was there. Then he found someone else to crush on. Of course that doesn't really matter, it wasn't love. Children never fall in love. They just think they are in love. It's just childish... Obviously. But what got to me was, after he fell for her, I had no friends for the remaining two weeks, but at the time I didn't know I would be moving so quickly, he completely stopped talking to me.

Then I went to the third school. Everyone there was just an aquaintance. No one ignored me, but no one was my friend either. After about six or seven months, I moved back to the first school I went to. I stayed there for quite a while.

All that moving around happened throughout my entire second grade year, including the summer after. I was back in my first school my entire third grade year. Before my fourth grade year, my parents split up. My mom, sister and I moved, staying in the same district, where I finished my fourth grade year. Towards the end of the summer, after that year, I moved in with my Dad, going to the school where I would finally find where I belong and who I am.

***

It was the first day of my fifth grade year. I was tired of moving and I thought it wouldn't be long before I moved again. I thought I was going to be bullied by everyone.

I stood outside the classroom, watching all the unfamiliar faces. Everyone was talking to the kids they've known since kindergarden. Talking about what they did over summer vacation and how much they missed each other. But I didn't get to enjoy that kind of experience. I knew nothing of these people. I didn't know what they were going to be like. I was afraid they were all going to pick on me just like everyone in the other schools I had been to.

Before I knew it, I was crying. My brand new teacher saw me. She immidiatly came out into the hall to comfort me. When she got me to calm down, she sent me to the bathroom to get myself together. She then introduced me to another new student, from a different homeroom. I can't say that helped me, but I was thankful that she tried.

She brought me into our homeroom. She sat me down next to another student and told him to help me get settled in. He introduced himself. Kyle was his name. He was really friendly and funny. I met a lot of students in my class that day. But only a couple of them would be my friends for years to come. Oh but don't worry, I will make more.

After a couple of weeks, Dad allowed my brother and I to walk home alone. I started walking with one of my classmates. Her name was Rebecca. Now a days, I refer to her as Bec and she is my best friend. I socialized with everyone in my class, no one in that class picked on me. I actually found a school where I belonged. It's a miracle I got to spend the rest of my school life here. As of this year, I'm a senior. My social web grew and I couldn't be happier (I figured I'd go through all the irrelivant information now so there is no confusion later on).

Half way through the year, our seats were rearranged. That's how I met him. My seat was in the back row, next to the one student in my class I never talked to before, not that I could recall anyway. I really don't remember much of anything between us that year. Just bits and pieces. His name was Jake.

Every day, we would greet each other with a smile and start learning. We often talked a lot. He was constantly making me laugh. And I do remember at one small moment, I did feel something one day, while talking to him. I didn't know what it was. I still don't know, maybe because I don't even remember how it felt. I just remember stopping in the middle of our conversation to look at him. I stared at him for a while but decided to dismiss it when he asked if there was something on his face.

For the rest of the year, things continued on like normal. We'd talk, sometimes got in trouble for it. We helped each other with questions we didn't understand on our worksheets. He even started something between him, me, and the girl on the other side of me. Because I was the helpless monkey in the middle, I was the target. They'd mess up my hair and scream "ahhh it's Madusa! Sheild your eyes!" I couldn't help but to laugh at his weirdness, and even got them back on a couple occasions. That was the biggest thing that I can still remember from back then.

When we moved up to middle school, we stopped talking, we never had classes together, thus never seeing each other.

Eventually, I forgot about him, and he forgot about me. We went on with our lives without even realizing the other existed.

It's funny how the world works like that isn't it? You forget things, only to remember them later. But in cases like this, the memories only come back when one specific object, event, or person comes back into your life.

It's been so long since then. I am not even sure how things came to be how they are now. All the things that happened back then. And all the things that have happened in the recent couple of years... I just can not seem to wrap my brain around it.

It made me realize something though. Especially just writing this first chapter to my story made it more clear than ever... Everything I've ever wanted was right here, where I am now. And being that I had finally gotten ahold of it all in fifth grade, somewhere between then and now, I started taking it all for granted. Being able to grow up with the same people. All the time I spent with friends. All the friends I've made and lost. All the friends that stuck with me all this time. All the experiences and beautiful memories. It was all taken for granted. As I near the end of my life at school and as I near graduation, I realize that I didn't savor any moment. I didn't etch any memory into my mind. There are so many what could have beens and so many regrets. I really wish I had realized how important every thing I've experienced and everything I have was to me. I should have taken my time. Thought out every moment clearly. But it's too late for that. Maybe he and I could have been friends for so much longer than what we have. But it can't be helped. All I can do now is make up for lost time, even if he doesn't remember any of it. At least the memory is still there with me, and for now, that's all that matters.