The Marauders: Year Six #Wattys2017

Why Do You Say That Potter?

Why Do You Say That Potter?

Meg Johnson and McKenna Alliston had a fight in Potions on Monday morning.

The story of it spread throughout the school like wildfire. The two girls had been partners in Potions since Meg's transfer from Ilvermorny and there'd been one little comment made about James Potter and the friendship they'd spent years cultivating was instantly destroyed as they rolled about tugging at each other's curls, shrieking loudly. Horace Slughorn had to use his wand to separate them and had marched them up the stairs to the headmaster's office, who was acting as the Gryffindor Head of House until Minerva McGonagall returned from her leave in Faere Dhu. The girls were assigned detention with Professor Gaunt for Wednesday evening.

"Instant cat fight," Sirius said, "Just add James Potter."

"Stop it," James said with a sigh.

Sirius grinned, "I heard Meg ripped a fistful of McKenna's hair right out."

James stared at Sirius.

"At least you haven't said oh gods Evans to McKenna yet, mate!"

"Will you please let it go already?" James whined.

Sirius smirked. "You know, James, life was a lot more peaceful back when you only liked Lily Evans. I'm just saying. All this girl drama... it's just so much drama. This is why girls are awful, Prongs. Hey, perhaps you should think about fucking boys as well? We take far less maintenance."

James buried his face in his arm.

"Just think. All your problems would be solved. They'd leave you alone, eventually..." Sirius glanced down the table to see Carly Shaw was staring at him like she usually did and he said, "Well. Mostly anyways." He cleared his throat. "It's really great. I mean, you'll have to be stuck with Peter, seeing as Moony and I are already taken... so you won't have my magnificent body laying out before you like I'm sure you'd prefer, but Peter's not exactly ugly, I mean, he could lose a few stone but ---"

"Fuck. Off. Sirius."

Sirius grinned. "Or you could just snog me off in the common room next Tuesday night. That'll make her really jealous."

James gave Sirius The Look.

"Just don't go getting addicted to these lips, Prongs." Sirius waved at his mouth, "These lips belong to my Moonshine."

Remus, who was sitting directly beside Sirius through this entire conversation, looked over and said, "You'd give him back real fast anyway once you got over the novelty of it. This one takes just as much work - if not more - than the girls he's always complaining are too high maintenance for him."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Well of course I do," he said, "I'm fucking brilliant. If I was easy, you wouldn't be earning all of this." He waved his hands at his body.

James said, "Well, Remus can keep all of that, and I'll stick to kissing girls, thank you."

"Poor Peter will be heartbroken," Sirius said, shaking his head.

Sirius failed his disapparation test on Tuesday. He came back to the dorm from the test shaking. "I splinched," he said.

"What?" Remus had leaped up from bed, tripping over Sirius's ridiculously long Gryffindor scarf, set on inspecting what parts were missing from his boyfriend's body.

James and Peter looked up from the chess game they were playing.

"Well they've put it back on but I splinched myself. Left my leg in one hoop and went to the other hoop and hopped about like I was the fucking Hopping Pot." His face was still pale.