Tired. That's what I've been for the past month. Tired of looking in the mirror and not liking what I see. Tired of seeing my grades slip. Tired of just being me. Tired of coming home to a place I don't want to live in. Tired of living. Period.
I've been feeling like this since elementary school and I sort of know how to hide my true feelings toward anyone. I want love, companionship or just someone I can trust without it being one-sided. I haven't felt that way with anyone I know. I've been patient my entire life now, and I don't know what to do with myself. Waking up every morning with false hope that something in my life... just something will change my feelings for someone. But each day I find it harder and harder to get out of bed. Yeah, I realize that I'm doing this to myself, but its not like I wanted this. I mean who would? I'm just rolling around in my own self-pity that I don't notice my friends not wanting to invite me to things knowing I'll tell them a stupid excuse of why I can't go or why I'm busy that day. I hate lying but I don't really feel like leaving my room sometimes, I don't want to start anything new. I just want to be left alone, even though that's not what's best for me.
-w
