Before I Come Undone (SugaxJungkook)

Missing

Yoongi's POV

I felt hopeless, helpless, and angry.

Jin should not have done that; he shouldn't have comforted me. They all should hate me. 

They should hate that I disappoint them, they should hit me for hurting them. 

All of them should be angry at me. Despise me. Abandon me.

If they weren't so stubborn, we could all be happy. I could get the punishment I deserve and they could enjoy some well-earned peace. 

I kicked a trashcan in rage. It was empty and lighter than I had expected. The force of my kick sent the garbage can spiraling down a hill right into a group of boys. Even though the trashcan only knocked down one person, I could tell it was the wrong person. 

"Who did that?" the guy screamed in anger. When several of his group pointed up the hill to me, I turned and ran as fast as I could. I heard them gaining on me. The whole gang seemed to be chasing me. I ran into an alleyway that I thought led to the main road, but I was wrong. It was a dead end. 

 I turned to exit the alley, but the angry group had me trapped in a corner, and there was no way to escape. 

Immediately, fear gripped me and I could feel my throat constricting. My breathing became ragged as I desperately searched for any means to escape.

Rain began to pour down from the sky, making me shiver as I backtracked into the alley. The sudden downpour halted my frantic searching for an escape route as my mind cleared. My breath evened out, and my heartbeat slowed in response to my abrupt realization. 

Isn't this what I wanted? I deserve this. I deserve to be punished.

No, I deserved to die.  The world had lost the most beautiful person in it because of me. I should be miserable and in pain.  I should not be allowed happiness. Good things shouldn't happen to me. I should die.

My eyes made contact with the man who I had knocked over. These guys were just itching for a fight, and I was happy to oblige. I launched myself at the nearest man, satisfied when I felt his fist connect painfully to my jaw. The pain didn't dull as they threw more punches, then kicked me down to the ground.  As their feet connected with my body, I smiled like a mad man. I could feel consciousness slipping away from me. Maybe they wouldn't stop there. Was I finally going to die today?

Jungkook, will you be waiting for me? Will you be able to forgive me?

Jimin's POV

I was fighting hard. I didn't want to wake up. Wherever I was, my pillow was warm, comfortable, and smelled amazing. I stretched my arms, hugging my body pillow close. Body pillow? Wait, I did not own a body pillow. I peeked my eye open. A sliver of light came from my open door, allowing me to see a white shirt, and below that, black sweat pants.  Jin hyung! I could feel my cheeks go warm and my heart started to beat wildly.  Slowly lifting my head off of his chest, I looked to see Jin still sound asleep.  Thank goodness! I was afraid that my racing heart would wake my sleeping hyung, so I eased my self off of his comfortable chest. 

 When had I fallen asleep last night, and how had Jin gotten into my bed? I normally slept with Taehyung and Hoseok leaving Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi to sleep together.  I could remember crying in Jin's lap last night as he sat on my bed. I must have fallen asleep clinging to him. 

I settled back on my real pillow, intending on watching Jin until it was time to get up (that's not creepy, okay!)  Then I suddenly remembered the reason I had been so upset last night. Yoongi hyung!

As I was scrambling out of bed, Jin grabbed my arm with a confused look on his face. Apparently, he had been awake all along.

"Where are you going? It's only..." he glanced at the clock on my bedside table "5:00 am."

"To see if Yoongi hyung is back." At the mention of our friend, Jin's eyes grew wide and he sat up with me. 

"Let's go together." We searched the whole house and woke everyone else up when we could find no sign of Yoongi's return. 

We all sat in silence in the spare bedroom. All eyes were on Namjoon as he paced back and forth on the phone, trying to get a hold of Yoongi or his parents. Finally, he turned to us and said "Everyone get dressed now, we are going to find Yoongi. We'll start by going to his house to see if he's there and to let his parents know what happened. "

Hardly anyone spoke as we quickly got our clothes on. Jin grabbed our jackets after checking the weather forecast, which called for heavy rain all day long. I could feel the bile rise in my throat as Jin drove through the downpour to Yoongi's house. Taehyung and I jumped out of the truck as soon as Jin slowed to a stop, and started to pound on the door. Normally we could just walk into one of my friend's houses, but since it was so early in the morning, and we were all supposed to be at my house, it may give his parents heart attacks if they heard us in their house. 

We stopped knocking on the door when Hoseok spotted lights coming on in the house. Yoongi's father opened the door with a confused expression on his face. It took a minute for him to recognize our drenched group standing outside, but when he finally realized who we were, he ushered us inside while Yoongi's mom ran to get towels for us to dry with.

When she returned, Mr. Min asked, "What brings you boys here? Where is Yoongi?"

"We came to see if he was here," Namjoon answered. "He was really upset last night when he left Jimin's house, and we had hoped that he came here."

Yoongi's mother paled. "Why exactly was he upset?" She demanded. Hoseok, Taehyung, and I left Namjoon and Jin to explain the situation to our hyung's parents while we searched the house for him. We came back after finding no sign of Yoongi in his house to see Mrs. Min crying on the sofa. 

"I had no idea." She sobbed into her husband's shoulder. "I tried to keep an eye on him after the last time he cut, but it's been so long. I thought he was out of danger. I am so sorry." She looked up at us with a tear-streaked face. "This is all my fault. I let my guard down and didn't realize that he was getting depressed again. I am a horrible mother!"

"No!" Jin interrupted. "It is nobody's fault. None of us knew and we were with him every day. We all try our best, but sometimes it is not good enough. Yoongi knows we love him and that we would be devastated if anything happened to him. The cuts weren't deep enough to kill him, so I am guessing that ending his life wasn't his intention." Yoongi's mother nodded, a bit comforted by Jin's words.  I knew he was right, but I couldn't help the sliver of guilt that crept into my mind. Could we have prevented him from feeling the need to hurt himself again?

Movement out of the corner of my eye brought me out of my thoughts. I looked over and saw Taehyung impatiently shaking his leg and glaring at the door. I silently agreed with him. It was time to go find our friend. 

A/N:  I had to end the chapter there because the next one would have been extremely short if I hadn't.

Let me know what you think! Thank you for all of the views, votes, and comments. It makes my day to see them!!