Blue

Blue. The sky is blue. Brilliant blue. Bold blue. Blue.

That is how I feel, blue. Everything had crashed down on me like a meteor earlier today. My life changed in the blink of an eye.

Norman, my brother, went to school today. 4th grade, he was so excited, bouncing off the walls beforehand. Norman was young, innocent, caring. His blue eyes were full of joy for his first day in a new town. Every time we moved Norman was excited, bless his soul. Never blue over changes.

I went to my school that day, highschool. I'm a sophmore. My eyes,  as blue as Norman's, weren't as full of joy. They were dull like the life had been sucked out of them. I had been through the new girl routine so many times, all my mom's fault. She can't keep a job to save her life, or her kids' lives.

But the new girl routine was easy. Ignore the stares, don't look confused, don't get any attention.

The first rule was the first one I broke. After so many schools I decided to not back down. Odds are I'll be gone in a month so I might as well have fun this time. So when my peers looked at me, I stared back at them putting all hate for my mother with them. Some flinched away and others just rolled their eyes. Great, school with idiots.

Rule number two I kept. Don't look confused. No, inseam I looked cold-hearted. No emotions escaped me even for a second. I was rock and people stayed away from me. They avoided me like a bee, or a wasp.

School was awful. I had to introduce myself in every single class.

"Hi." I would say with a glare. Nobody dared to say hi back. "I'm Laney
Nace. My favorite thing to do is read and I like the color blue." Nobody even flinched. That was a part of the new girl routine too, bad introductions. The more bland you seem the more likely the previous rules will be kept.

Rule three. Don't get any attention. I tired to kept that rule, I really did. Fate had other plans.

Code Red. Lock down.

That was pretty normal, probably a drill or something.

Not a drill.

After three hours we were released. I was of course, immediately called down to the office. Eyes were on me in an instant. And with that I exited as rule three broke.

The office was doom. Mom was there, her brown eyes filled with tears. Honestly I'm glad I got dad's eyes. He was the better parent.

Mom was the one who cheated on him while he was at work. Mom was the one who who spent the tax money on beer and wine. Mom was the one who punched me. Mom was the one who had sèx with a guy, same one she cheated on dad with, on the couch after dad died, and the guy left as soon as dawn broke.

But if mom was crying, then something bad most have happened.

Norman happened. The lock down was for a reason, there was a shooting at Norman's school. Norman was one of the dead, bullet to the head.

I ran, ran, ran, ran. Finally I found myself on this very hill, staring at the sky.

Blue. The sky is blue. Brilliant blue. Bold blue. Blue. Blue like Norman's eyes.

Blue, how I feel as my world comes down on me. My baby brother is gone, my only excuse for staying with Mother. I'll run more. Away from the memories.

And as I get ready for my escape into the great unknown, the sky is blue. Funny how it is always blue. Funny how nature goes on, especially when you feel you can't.

Good bye Norman. I need to leave his life behind, and go live out the rest of my lonely life, under the blue.