All These Things That I've Done

Brain Stew

"First things first I'm going to say all the words inside my head. Lately, I've been fired up and tired of the way that things have been. I was broken at a young age. I wrote down poems, taking my soul into the masses. I've always wanted someone who could hold on. I just want to shine on in a man's heart. I want some kind of meaning for my broken heart. Through all the head aches and heart breaks, I am so much younger than I can take. And as my affection comes and goes, I need direction to perfection."

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My chest hurts. Currently, I am sitting outside of the principles office, holding my breath. My heart is beating out of my chest. The office assistant gestures me to go inside. I sigh as I slowly get up and shuffle into the principles office. The room was dark, as the only source of light was the dime lamp that sat on his desk. The office was quit small as it only consisted of a desk, three chairs, a lamp and a small sofa. On the sofa sat my AP world history teacher, Mr. Johnson. Mr. Johnson was a small, cubby man.

"Please, take a seat Ms. Baldwin."

I sat down.

"Ms. Baldwin do you know why I called you here today?"

I shook my head.

"Well, maybe I could refresh your memory. According to the librarian, you had your phone with you while you were taking a test, is that correct?"

I nod.

"Ms. Baldwin, our main concern is.... well we wanted to ask you why you had your phone with you?"

"Principle Aldrich, I forget that I even had my phone with me in the first place. I completely neglected to remember that my phone was in my pocket."

"Do you mind explaining what really happened."

I took a deep breath. Common Ana, I though, this is no big deal just make it seem like you didn't cheat.

"So it was around 12:15 when I went to take my make up test in the learning commons. As I entered the kind librarian handed me the test. I took the test and my pencil and walked into the test taking room. After about 10 minutes of writing my pencil broke, so I remembered that I had a pen in my pocket. As I unzipped my pocket, I felt my phone. I took it out for a brief second, and all of a sudden the door swung open. Out of shock and fear I hide my phone between my thighs. The librarian kindly asked me to hand my phone over to her, so I did. She informed me that she would be telling Mr. Johnson that I had my phone with me during the test. In no way did I argue with her. After she left, I continued to proceed with my test."

The room went silent. We all sat there staring at each other.

"I would never cheat," I said breaking the silence, "that would be disrespecting toward Mr. Johnson and I would never disrespect a teacher like that."

As I was speaking to Principle Aldrich, I made sure to look into his eyes as I was talking to him. Looking into his eyes made me feel some odd sense of power over him, as if I knew how to control him with my words.

"Well Ana," he said looking at his screen " you have no previous records of doing anything remotely similar to this instance, so I'm going to take your word for it."

As soon as the words left his mouth, my entire body relaxed completely. I felt like someone lifted a piano off of my body. A huge smile over through my face.

"But," he said opening his top right desk drawer "that doesn't mean your off the hook."

He took out a detention slip and proceeded to fill it out.

"Your still getting a referral for having your phone on you during the test," he said handing me the referral.

"That's completely understandable," I said in relief. After being handed the referral, I apologized to both Mr. Johnson and Principle Aldrich for the "misunderstanding." I left the office with a huge grin on my face as I tore up the detention slip and tossed it into the trash. As I exited the main office, and shifted into the hallway I took out my phone, plugged in my headphones and blasted Green Day's Brain Stew as I walked toward the girls bathroom. I pushed open the green door as I entered into the empty restroom. The bathroom smelled like someone had smeared shit all over the walls and tried to contain the smell by spraying perfume everywhere. I fixed my uniform in the cracked mirror. I rinsed my hand with water, as I used my damp hands to unfrizz my curls. Today is September 13. It has officially been 4 weeks into my sophomore year and its already turning out like crap. I looked like a little pale blue eyed poodle in a catholic school girl uniform. I grab a few paper towels as I exit the restroom and proceed to head to class. I turn the blue knob of the iron door and enter into hell, also known as chemistry. My satonic teacher Mr. James sat on his black rolling chair wearing his white button down shirt with his camouflage now tie.

"Good your back, were working with your assigned partners on section 7.1 evens, get to it ya?"

I grabbed my note book and took a seat next to my best friend and lab partner Henry. Henry had just transferred to St. Francis this year. He moved to San Francisco to be with his mom and sister since his dad's a dick.

"Hey what did Aldrich want."

I shrugged.

"Same old shit, but a different day."

He chuckled as he handed me his note book with the Chem answers.

"Thanks."

"So guess who I was talking to today," he asks with a smirk.

"Who," I respond sarcastically.

"Guess," he says.

"No," I reply, proceeding to copy down the answers.

"I was talking to Danny."

Ironically, Danny is my crush. I've had a crush on Danny since freshmen year. Our families have always been close but we've never actually talked before. He's tall, buff, smart, mature and handsome; the complete package. Danny is a junior and to say I'm in love with him would be an understatement. I tremble any time I'm near him. He makes me anxious and insecure, but at the same time he makes me happy and relieved. I've always wanted him by my side because knowing he was out there made me feel less alone. Everything about him made me feel like I was going to explode. His smile is heart melting, his laugh made me tingle, when I see him happy I get happy, when I see him sad, I become sad. In a sense, I have a disease.

"Oh ya? What did you guys talk about?"

"You."

I didn't notice this, but as soon as the word left his lips, I snapped my pencil in half.

"Your joking? What could you have possible said about me."

"I may have told him you like him."

"Excuse me," I exclaimed.

"Ya and you wanna know the funny part?"

"What?"

"He think you guys are cousins."