Abigail

--- 17 ---

She enveloped me in a warm hug, the last of the evening sun beating down on my back, the hug was sticky in the heat, but I didn't mind it.

"Have a good shift love." My mum smiled softly at me, her face aged and her skin tired. Her hair was tied into a tight ponytail to keep it away from her face. I knelt down to the second pair of eyes, the small body had wrapped herself around my mothers leg. Her eyes were the same but brighter and more alive. Jennifer was yet to be dulled by the world. 

"I'll see you when I get back from work." I said gently to the 3 year old before standing up and walking out the driveway, turning back to wave. These same thoughts occurred every morning, I analysed the way my mum looked everyday and each day she looked more tired. I sighed and fiddled with the sleeves of my hoodie, pulling at some of the loose threads. I wasn't going to work today. 

For the last year I had been planning for my mum, sister and I to leave London, to move away to a place where the money we had to live on would go further. I'd kept it a secret, every week I kept some of my wages back to help pay for today. Maybe I could've used that money to help get us out of London, but it wouldn't be enough, we'd have to live the way we were for longer, and I couldn't live like it anymore. 

The waking up at 5 am when the sun rises because the curtains had to be used for my sisters bed sheets, having to use the public loos in the foyer to wash our dishes and clothes because the plumbing broke and we can't afford to get it fixed. Spending every moment I'm not working staring at the blank walls in the living room because we had to sell the TV so we could afford the rent. I was tired of it all and I wanted it out, I was doing it for Jennifer I told myself, sticking my hands in my pockets to check the gun was still in there. 

Getting a gun in London was not easy, let me tell you that, first I had to get in contact with a drug dealer, so much of my money was wasted on buying drugs, I didn't even take them they would just get flushed down the loos. The drugs opened the doors to the darker side of London, the gun gangs, the dealers, the criminals that lived under the noses of the watchful but completely unaware law enforcers. Ironically I wanted to be a police woman and in an ideal world I would be but instead I worked as mall security, a boring, low paid job. I wasn't going there this evening though. 

The next step for getting a gun was to somehow involve myself in the gun gang, I dated Rick for 5 months just to gain his and the other members trust, it was worth it, no matter how horrible it made me feel. One night when they were all asleep I took one of the guns from his room and planted it in another members room, I did this several times, they started to watch each other more carefully and that meant they weren't watching me. After all what could I, a weak and innocent female possibly do to double cross them. The gang is one gun down now and Rick and I are no longer together, they are surprisingly none the wiser. I expected more from a gun gang.

So here I am now, walking towards the small bank branch at the end of the street, one good thing that came from spending time with the gang was that I learnt things, I saw things and I knew what to do. The gun hit against my side as I walked through the doors of the building. Four costumers, 6 employees. 

My heart was pounding in its cage, hitting against my chest cavity like a boxer punches their training bag. My palms were wet with sweat, the layer of moisture proving just how horrible I felt. I could leave. I didn't have to do this. No, I did have to do this, for Jennifer, for my mum. I walked calmly up to the counter and pulled the gun from my pocket, pointing it at her, her blue eyes widen and she became visibly panicked, I looked around, nobody had noticed.

"I won't hurt you, if you give me all the money you have, please." I whispered, my voice was shaking I could hear how desperate I sounded, I wasn't cut out for this crap. The woman sat up straight and pulled all her money out, counting it for me to see before handing it over.