Begin Again

the beginning

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

- Robert Frost

________________________________

It was raining. Not pouring. It was gentle, and felt good against Louis' skin.

The child he held in his hands was sound asleep, and he was using all that he could to keep him shielded from the cold water.

His baby, with dark brown wisps of hair against his soft head. Eyes fluttered shut, with long eyelashes lying gently against the top of his cheeks. Light pink lips parted slightly, and he was wrapped up in all the warm clothes that Louis could spare.

Even if it meant that he was only in a thin black t shirt, and thin wool grey sweater. But, his baby was happy, and he was warm. And that's what mattered.

He waited for the clouds to part, before he got up from the park bench. He got to his car, and set his baby down in it. In an hour he'd be at work, his child would be watched over by his neighbors daughter, and for a little while he could pretend that things were going to be okay.

___

He was fired. It wasn't a scene. His boss pulled him over and said he'd miss too much work. To make matters worse, the babysitter had run into the restaurant with his screaming child yelling that she forgot she had a paper due the next day.

Louis only nodded towards her, he couldn't blame her. She was the one willing to look after his baby with no pay, as a favor, as a friend.

His boss gave him one final shake of his head. But it's not his fault that sometimes the babysitter can't make it, or that Louis doesn't have funds to pay someone which makes him miss work. It's also not his fault that at 21 the best job Louis can get is at some rundown fast food place. It's really not.

Louis walks out, and he doesn't look back, he coddles his child and puts him back in the baby seat. He drives to his apartment and almost falls down to his knees when he sees the notice taped to the front door.

He knew it was bound to happen, but still it stung. He hurried the baby into the apartment and opened the door and locked it quickly behind him. Immediately the baby started to cry, and all Louis could do was cuddle his tiny body closer against his chest, and kiss his forehead and say, it's all going to be okay.

but would it be?

__________

thoughts?