Maybe there was a reason behind it.

How this whole mess started off...

Maybe I should explain how this whole situation came to be....

He's in the year above me in my boarding school, that making him 14 and that leaving me in 12. We're not dating though so there's not much fuzz about that we're just... actually, I don't quite know what we are if I'm being honest.

John's well known around school for having secret relationships, usually with more than one person at a time if we're getting down to the real stuff, but this was mainly so when the relationship broke off, or more like when he go sick of them, there was no strings attached and he could literally just walk off from their life and not have people giving him shit about it, and that's literally all he ever did.

Despise the fact that I knew all about this and I had heard several rumors about him pressurizing girls I knew pretty well into doing stuff that well, they simply didn't really want to do to be quite honest, my dumb self still fell for the stupid trap. I mean I guess that in my defense, this is a guy in an older year paying me out of ALL people some attention!!  Anyone would've gone for it!!!!!

One night at one of the 'parties' which honestly really weren't parties they were more like 'gatherings' or 'get togethers' even, but anyway, getting out of topic, John got dared to kiss me on the cheek and for anyone else that wouldn't be a big deal but apparently for my year... it was a massive thing for an older to kiss your cheek.

When he went to do it, I wasn't aware of any of this so my natural reflexes well, kinda made me punch him in the face, then I quickly looked behind me to see what was happening and unconsciously pull my hair to the other side, giving him room to do it, without getting hurt this time, as he sat down two people away from me I lean forward as I call his name to get his attention.

  "I'm really sorry about that, is your nose okay?"  I said almost shouting to get my voice above the people sitting next to me so he could hear what I was trying to say.

"Yeah, It's okay, nice punch you got going tough!"  He said, almost as loud as I firstly talked to him and I could be fooling myself but, I could've sworn he said that with a smirk on his face and a little wink at the end which only caused me to blush up a little and almost make me turn my head to the other side so he wouldn't see my slightly roused up cheeks.

That same night, when the 'party' finished and everyone was leaving, this other girl and I stayed behind and John is mentioned in our really brief conversation, making my heart skip a beat, and making that same beat sink down to the mention of him having a girlfriend, which even though I didn't like him, or at least that's what I thought, it kind of hurt hearing those words it was almost like someone punched me straight in the stomach.

I knew it wasn't any of my business but I couldn't help myself to ask who it was that he was dating, only to regret my question the second Lauren's name spills out of this girls lips. The fact that it was someone that I knew pretty well, only made the situation even worse for me, "I don't even like him, what the fuck" I keep thinking to myself as I picture John and Lauren together making me feel light headed and causing me to zoom out, not  realizing the girl that I was talking to literally just a second ago, had disappeared and I was now left all alone at the top of the staircase, asking myself if I liked John or not.

A couple minutes later I come to the conclusion that the smirk and the wink was all in my head and that he didn't like me, after all he is dating Lauren and this whole situation was a dare and that's what it felt like to him and that's what it will soon feel like to me too.

I quickly shake the thoughts out of my head to the sound of someone calling my name, not quite sure who is calling me and without thinking "Yeah??"  spills out of my mouth questioning the sweet voice that called me at first. Once I got myself to the bottom of the stairs I see my friend Sasha waiting for me at door so we can go to our dorms together since is fairly dark and she doesn't like walking by herself.

When we walked out of the building her bright blond hair reflected the moons light making her hair shine like I'd never seen it do before. As we walked up towards our dorm it was dead silent until she brought up about John just as I'm about to start a conversation with her to lighten up the mood.

  "Look I know you like John, because it's obvious, but please don't let this ruin everything else you have, like things always do... Don't let us down for a boy, he'll leave and we'll be the only people here to help you get through it, not him... And—" I cut her off as she's about to keep talking.

  "Wow, slow down a minute, I don't even like him, what the hell are you on about! Where did this come from? I would never let you guys down for a boy! You guys know I wouldn't what the hell? He simply got dare to kiss me on the cheek that's all! Nothing's—" This time she was the one cutting me off, even if she simply whispered "But you let him..." although it was loud enough for me to hear I pretended like I didn't and continued with my sentence. "Nothing's going to happen between John and I, he's dating Lauren anyway, so there's nothing for you to stress about".

The rest of the walk was silent, thank God we were almost there. As soon as I walked into the room, I went to sit straight on my bed, saying hello as I walked through the dorm to get to it, no one replied and they all looked pretty annoyed at me when I looked back at them all studying each others faces as I examine theirs.

  "What's going on? Why's everyone looking at me like that?"  I said a bit concerned to the point where my question may have come out slightly bitter.

  "Nothing, is just that we didn't take you for a slut, that's all" Sara says as she's arranging the things on her desk making it seem like it's nothing major.

  "Right, Wow, where the fuck did that come from??"  I snapped back at her, maybe with a little more attitude than needed.

  "I don't know you tell us, we're not the ones going around letting people kiss us because they feel like it!"  She snapped back at me, making this whole situation a lot bigger than it should've been in the first place.

I didn't answer, someone had to be the mature one in this situation and I well know that Sara won't ever grow up and be mature so I hold back all the anger that's slowly building up and shut up as I keep myself busy. The dorm is dead quiet and God is weird, we're usually always extremely loud and annoying but tonight it was just... quiet.