Worse Than Nicotine

so i say damn your kiss and the awful things you do (5)

(A/N again, creds to Rayne for helping and contributing to this fic, follow her @imissyourskin ig)

Ryan's eyes slowly fluttered open to complete darkness. He almost forgot where he was for a second but then quickly remembered the amazing night he had. How could he forget? Ryan checked his phone, which had fallen on the floor when him and Brendon were in the midst of undressing, and it read '4:27am.'

Ryan looked over and found Brendon's naked body lying next to him, sound asleep. Brendon must have kicked off the bed sheets during the night because he was completely uncovered. Ryan took a deep breath and slowly drank in the beautiful sight. He sat there and smiled, feeling proud of himself.  

All Ryan wanted at this moment was to stay. To stare at Brendon's beauty just a little while longer. To see a smile on his face as he woke up hours later, remembering the night they had together. 

But Ryan knew that wouldn't happen. 

He knew if Brendon saw him in the morning, he would immediately kick him out. Probably set the tigers on his ass. It killed Ryan to walk away from the man he loved after finally being with him after all the years he spent hoping. 

So, he got dressed as silently as possible, scribbled a short goodbye note, grabbed a few necessities, snuck past the sleeping tigers and left.

***

Brendon woke up smiling a few hours after, but his smile faded as he turned his head and noticed Ryan was gone. He saw a small piece of paper stuck to the pillow that read, 

'sorry for leaving but i figured you wouldn't want me to stay. last night was great and if you ever wanna do it again, call me. ps, i took a pack of cigs from your drawer'

Brendon crumpled the paper and roughly tossed it across the room. The tigers lifted their heads in concern. Brendon swiftly hopped out of bed, still naked, and made his way downstairs to fix himself a glass of whiskey for breakfast. 

He checked his phone constantly, hoping for a call or text or something. He refused to call him even though he knew in the back of his mind, Ryan wouldn't call first. He missed him already and he hated it. He hated himself for feeling this way.

'I'm Brendon Urie, I don't love. I fuck. And that's it' Brendon thought to himself. He was so distracted by his thoughts of Ryan and his accidental morning wood to realize that he had spilled whiskey on the floor.

"Dammit," he whispered. Not caring, he didn't clean it. Instead, he just let Apollo lick it up as he walked back to his room. He set his whiskey glass down on his bedside table and tossed himself back into his bed. 

His mind immediately wanders to Ryan and how good he was last night. 

How he made Brendon feel safe and comfortable. Brendon had never bottomed before, considering he hated feeling small and weak. But last night was the best sex he's ever had out of all the girls and guys he's been with. Even Elena couldn't compare to how good Ryan's dick felt inside him. 

Brendon looked down and saw his boner quickly growing at all these thought swirling in his mind.

"Oh, fuck it," he whispered and his hand quickly darted towards his hard cock. He moved his hand up and down his shaft, starting out slow, images in his head of last night, of Ryan and his pretty mouth on his cock, of Ryan fucking him senseless. 

He let out a loud groan of ecstasy. He began to pump faster, imagining Ryan's long fingers wrapped around him. He wanted Ryan so bad. 

As he felt himself coming to an end, he bucked his hips into the air and let out a string of moans and whines. He finally came, shooting white cum all over his hand and his stomach. He let out a deep sigh and set his hips back onto his mattress. 

His thoughts of Ryan were still clouding his brain and he refused to just let him go. He took a deep gulp of his whiskey and picked up his phone.

"Brendon? Why are you calling me?" Brendon heard Ryan's sweet voice through his phone.

"Come back. I don't care where you are, turn the fuck around and come back. I want you," Brendon knew he was taking a risk but he couldn't help it. 

There was a long silence between the two of them before Ryan finally uttered, 

"I'm on my way." and hung up. 

Brendon tossed his phone aside and smiled. He remembered the mess he had made and quickly hopped off the bed to clean up. He tossed on some clothes heading into the bathroom to fix his hair before he he heard a knock at the door. 

He rushed down the stairs and stood there catching his breath. He tried to regain his composure and think about what he was going to say. His mind kept coming up blank so he just settled for opening the door and facing his problems.