Unknown Friends

Expectations

Envy - a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

In other words, what I'm feeling now as I stare at my fellow peers laughing and having discourse with their different group; Different, another word I'm not too fond of.

Different - not the same as another or each other; unlike in nature, form, or quality.

With an emotional sigh, I turn my gaze to the black screen of my phone. I stared at it longingly as though it had the answers to my current dilemma.

It didn't. Nothing did.

The bell rings signaling the end of lunch and I grab my backpack to walk towards my next class, my worst class. With my head held high, I head for 5th period. The hallway is inundated with students, as they shove into one another each hurrying to get to wherever it is they were headed to. Walking attentively, trying to avoid the shoving shoulders I rushed for my class. This was not an easy task. Everyone seemed to be out for each other. It was like a jungle, the one described in Mean Girls. Predator vs. Prey, viciously fighting for a faster way to reach class, predators obviously winning.

I entered my classroom and rushed to my seat. After fifteen minutes of listening to my teacher engage in a lesson about the values of "interactions", I pull out my journal and begin to write.

I don't understand what they want from me. I don't understand what I want from them. After two years of seeing and hearing the way I talk, act, dress, and look they still seem to perceive me as though I'm acting. Why? Is it wrong that I like the color black? Is it wrong that I don't conform to the norms of society? Is it wrong that I wear my emotions on my sleeves sometimes, and then sometimes I block all my emotions keeping them locked under layers and layers of brick walls? Or is it wrong because I'm black? Because most people tend to surmise that all black girls are loud, abrasive, sassy, and always looking for fights. I will be forever known as that 'black emo', instead of just 'emo'. The one that is both an outcast from the emo and black girls clique. I'm like a peanut butter and butter sandwich, like a boat on sand, like a crooked tooth in a mouth full of perfectly straight teeth. I just don't fit. But I don't care. I could care LESS, IN FACT, I COULD CARE SO LITTLE, THAT EVEN IF- '

swiveling my head upwards, I stared at the red face teacher as another yell sounded."Felicia! are you paying attention?" the angry teacher asked. The laughter has ebbed slowly, as every student waited for my response. "Yes?", It was weak and by the smug smile on her teachers face, exactly what she was looking for. "Wonderful, care to remind your fellow peers about the subject at hand?"

Great, more talking required. "Um.. the different types of social interactions?" once again a weak reply. The once shining smugness of her face soon turns into a bright and happy smile.

I guess I was correct?

"seems you were paying attention, next time try to keep your head up, okay?" and with a final smile, she turns around. That's Mrs. Sternum for you, her moods change rapidly sometimes. Seriously, she like a ticking time bomb.

I have evidence.

Evidence 1: Carly Jensen was giving a presentation on human nature. Overall t was a great report, and naturally, everyone applauded her, especially Mrs.Sternum. Mrs. Sternum then asked her a few question. Everything was fine until the final question when Mrs. Sternum asked if she did it by herself. Although the natural answer would be 'yes I did', Carly Jensen is a truth telling idiot and responded with 'I got help from my parents'. Mrs. Sternums face instantly got red, and she started spouting accusations like 'your parents did all the work didn't they?' or ' why don't you just tell your parents to go to school again if they like it so much'. Carly Jensen got real upset and started crying, the teacher cutting off her rant started cooing at her, willing the crying to stop. Then it stopped and Mrs, sternum frowned and said ' That isn't proper behavior for someone your age'.

Evidence 2: A boy asked for a pass to the bathroom. Simply put, she got mad, worried, disappointed, and happy in the span of fifteen seconds.

I ignore the wide staring I was receiving from the other kids, focused on actually focusing on Mrs. Sternum's lesson. After thirty minutes of complete boredom, the next bell rang.

Instant relief.

Deciding to the take the route of less resistance, I hurry towards the underground stairs towards my next class. It was completely unoccupied as I traveled down the stairway. My 'buds fill my ear with a loud noise while I stared straight ahead. Although I like the dark, I do have a fear of it. There's not much I can do to avoid this, as it is inevitable.

The stairway of darkness gets darker walking towards the class. There is a hiss, making me come to a halt and I turn to look behind me. Seeing nothing, I turn my head back around to continue at a much faster pace. I am almost to the classroom when I hear another hiss and the pitter-patter of feet, instead of looking I continue to walk, pace going faster than the last time. The noise gets louder when the class comes nearer. I reach for the handle, and when I begin to open the door a hand touches my shoulder.

When my scream has finally subsided, my eyes track the hand on my shoulder to the face of McKenzie Delaney. She looks at me with a sneer painting her face. "ooh, is 'black Emo' scared of the dark?" she sneers bigger (is that even possible?!). She looks to her friends to back her up as she says "she's terrified of the big bad monster" they all laugh and agree. My face begins to heat up, and I look towards the door, only to realized that the door was open and everyone had heard the commotion.

Everyone, except for the teacher who was sleeping snuggled at his desk.

Great.

"Oh, McKenzie. Sorry didn't see you there, must be because of your insignificant in my life. Why don't you shove your idiotic insults up your arse? I wouldn't call it monster, more like big, ugly human, monster is just being way too nice. bye". I turn to walk away, taking the stairs two at a time.

Schools overrated anyways.
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Comment on any errors. Thanks for reading.
Thank you,
♡Lekelefac