Change is a Wonderful Thing.

Rain

I awkwardly clear my throat as I stare at Will. We didnt know what to say to each other, or how to start the conversation. Junie cries out when she drops the fork she was playing with, and will grabs it before I could even react. "so what are you in group for?" I ask while wiping Junie's face because she put her hands in a spilled sugar packet on the table, then proceeded to rub her face. "I don't know. Its a lot of things, I've got depression, and anxiety, so its a weird combination, but they almost go hand in hand." he lets out a chuckle then looks at the ground.

He looks up "what about you?" My jaw clenches, but he told me why he was in group, now I have to. He notices how uncomfortable, his eyes go wide. "Oh I'm sorry, you don't have to talk about if you don't want to." he rushes, but I let out a chuckle and shake my head. "No it's fine, you're gonna find next week at group anyways. My boyfriend, Junies father was um..." I take a breath before I speak and Will looks very concerned. "He was in a hit and run, when Junie was five months old. They found the guy who did it and he only got five years." I said with a silent tear rolling down my cheek, and will reached to wipe it away, but I did it before he could.

"I'm sorry, zoey. That's terrible." He says and I nod. The waitress brings our coffee. "Here you go, sorry for the wait." she says and looks at me and notices my red eyes from crying, and she quickly leaves. I give junie her hot chocolate, and she smiles a big smile and gulps it down.

"Junie is a cute name." Will says and I smile, "it's short for Juniper. John chose it." I say and he nods, "was John your boyfriend?" He ask hesintantly and I nod. I stare out the window and look at the rain pouring from the sky, and I shiver. I hope Will didnt notice. I stare at him for a moment. I notice the bags under his green eyes and His kinda greasy light brown hair. How long has it been since he has gotten a decent amount of sleep.

"How old are you?" he ask "twenty two, you?" I reply "twenty four, and I take Junie wasnt planned." He chuckles and, so do I " no, but she is my little miracle, even if I don't show it." I say while playing with her little afro. She giggles and grabs my hand, and I cant help, but smile. She reminds me of John so much. It is a blessing and a curse.

"You're a good mom, you know that right?" he says and I almost don't know how to react. "you've only started talking to me like an hour ago." I say and he laughs " yeah, but you reconize you have a mental illness, and you're trying to better yourself. That's more than a lot of moms do. People with mental illnesses don't really undertsand how there illness can affect the people surrounding them, but you do a pretty good job at trying to be there for your daughter, but some advice don't push away your problems, so you can focus on your daughter. You need to adress those problems. I didnt adress my problems and I went a little crazy, and now my son lives with my mother." he says then he runs his hands through his greasy hair.

I grab his hand and look him in the eye "thank you, no one ever says that or understands. They just expect me to be better. I'm sorry about your son. How old is he?" He smiles " He turns two in two months. His name is Leandre, it's french, but I call him Leo." he says

" That's a pretty cool name" I smile and he nods "I think so too." he says and I clear my throat and look at the rain die down and sun began to shine through the clouds, and a ray of it shines on Will. I realize I'm still holding his hand. I chuckle nervously and let go, and try to focus on my child. Who spilt hot chocolate on herself.

She begins to cry and I get her spare outfit out. "let me go change her real quick and maybe we can go to a park?" I ask and he nods while cleaning up the table. I carry Junie to the bathroom and I set her on the changing table I wipe the hot chocolate off her arms, and I change her. I pick her up and before I leave I check myself in the mirror. I take a good look at myself holding Junie.

She looks just like her dad. We have the same facial shape, but she looks just like her dad. I hug junie close and then I went back to the table, I saw Will standing there. " So there is a park nearby. We can walk to it because its not raining anymore." I mumble an "okay" and he beams and opens the cafe door. "m'lady" he says and I laugh "such a gentlemen" I reply and we walk down the street. I'm holding Junie and she is babbling and pointing at everything.

"So what about Leo's mom." I ask

"what about her?"

"Where is she?"

"I dont know. I woke up one day and found her gone when Leo was six months old."

"oh, I'm sorry"

"eh don't be. It's just life, and I always enjoy a challenge."

"You're pretty happy for a person who has anxiety and depression."

"It comes and goes." He says with a shrug.

"I guess. Wait let me ask you something."

"shoot."

"Is this like.. a date."

"If you want it to be."

"yes. yes I do."

Will smiles and sees the park. It's full of trees and has a play ground in the center. We walk through the neatly cut grass, and I set Junie on the ground and she runs off to the swing, and I sit on the nearest bench. I watch her clumsily climb onto the steps to the slide.

"So when the last time you saw Leo?" I ask and I hear Will sigh, " last week"

I give him a sypathetic smile, as we under a tree and I watch the braches cast a shadow on Will's pale skin, and I look away before he can catch me staring.

 "I take Leo to this park a lot, or at least I used too."

I look up at him, and he is looking at the play ground like he can almost see his son playing. He smiles and the smile fades when reality hits him and doesnt know when he will be able to see his son.

" You know I, um. Well you see, Junie's birthday party is in two weeks maybe you can bring Leo, and Junie could have a new friend. Junie could use more friends because the only people coming to her party are my neices and nephews and my sister, and my mom." I say hoping this isnt too awkward that I'm inviting this cute boy to my daughter's birthday party as a second date.

"sure just text me the time and date." He chuckles and I nod and watch Junie fall down some steps to the slide, but she gets up and dust herself off. I sigh in relief.

Will looks at his phone, and smiles.

"what is it, a girl?" I ask

"no I already got a pretty girl to talk to right here. Its my mom, she said I could visit Leo this weekend and next weekend." He says and I blush at the compliment.

"That's great, Will." I beam, and he nods.

I see Junie fall into a puddle and I curse to myself because I didnt have another spare outfit, and I would have to take her home. I think Will realizes this too, so he sighs. I get up to get her and Will follows me. I walk up to Junie and pick her up. She protest and throws her arms back and smacks Will in this face. He laughs as I rush my apoligies towards him. He just shakes it off and we walk back to my car.

I put Junie in her car seat, and I carefully buckle her. I had to take off her wet clothes, so she is just in a diaper. I shut her door and before I could react Will kisses me. It was unexpected, so i was shocked. "sorry I couldnt live with myself if I didnt" he says while looking at the ground and I chuckle, and Will laughs and grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.

"make sure you text me the dates for Junie's party, and let's do this again." He says with a ray of sunshine caught in his smile, and it's contagious because I can't help but smile back.

He walks to his car, and takes the sunshine with him because I see the clouds above me swell and thunder. The crushing reality hits me as I realize I have work tomorrow, and I have to go home alone, but this was a fun little vacation.