Something To Live For ❦ NaruSasu

One

'Why…'

He opened his tired eyes, remembering the dream he'd just had. The rough waves of the ocean had swept him away. He remembered himself drowning, but not fighting it. He had wanted it.

'Why am I still… alive…?' He wondered.

He sat up, the soft light of the sunrise coming in through his window and illuminating his pale face. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wake up.

The dream he'd had last week also involved him dying somehow, yet he didn't mind it. It was odd. The dream he'd had a couple nights after involved someone saving him.

Perhaps this was just a sign that he shouldn't be alive after all. That's what he thought, in any case.

To him, life was just pointless anyway. He would be okay with taking his own life. It didn't matter to him. His life wasn't important to him, and his brother would be fine without him. Where was the problem?

He'd decided he'd do it.

Sasuke brought his knees to his chest, staring out the window as he thought about his decision.

—

He stood at a cliff.

He wasn't going to kill himself, at least, not yet. He was just inspecting the water, the height of the cliff, and so on.

There was something about this place that seemed fitting for a suicide to him. He felt almost at peace here, for the first time in a long time.

He didn't want to feel they way he did anymore. Angry, depressed and lonely. And hateful, especially towards himself. He hadn't felt real happiness since he was a child.

His brother tried to make him happy, and tried to love him, but Sasuke knew Itachi blamed him for their parents' death. It really was Sasuke's fault though, so his brother wasn't exactly wrong.

When he was seven, Sasuke had been distracting his parents while the three of them were in the car and they got into a terrible accident. Sasuke somehow survived though, but was pretty injured. His brother wasn't in the car that day.

The two boys had stayed with their grandfather, Madara and uncle, Obito (who actually was only a couple of years older than Itachi), until Itachi was eighteen. Itachi took Sasuke and they moved out; Madara got scary when angry.

That was also how Itachi met his future boyfriend. Kakashi was Obito's best friend, and he came over a lot (he was only a year younger than Obito, too).

But Itachi had distanced himself from Sasuke, trying not to blame him.

Sasuke felt unloved, and that turned into anger, loneliness, depression and hate towards himself, because he knew Itachi was right. Hell, he even blamed himself.

Sasuke sat down on the edge of the cliff, feeling the cool breeze on his skin. He felt as if someone was nearby, watching him, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

He stood up, nodding. "Next week," he murmured to himself. That's when he'd come back here. That's when he'd kill himself.

He felt that, perhaps, somewhere far beyond this world, he'd feel nothing anymore. That is what he wanted.

He wanted everything to just stop.

—

Kind of like a prologue, but whatever. Sorry it's short. I'm so excited for this!