All the feels

Today's convo

We met again for a reason,
here in the place where it all ended.
you didn't even asked if I'm okay-
and I hate it.
I mentioned your name,
why does it kill me?
as memories do its flashbacks
how I've destroyed you.
and now I'm back,
to fix things right
I looked at you with no hesitation,
give me your attention
I was expecting for you to say that I matter.
a part of you that you can't ever live without
but I was left behind,
with doubts
with no answers
and when I looked into your eyes,
it felt like you didn't knew me at all
I was expecting for you to tell me that I'm not lost,
that you're here to prove me I found my home.
are you scared?
I always wanted to save this,
the flames that keep on connecting us
I promise not to let things happen again
but—
all I see is you
running away out of my hands
you should've not loved me from the very start,
how could you smile like that without pain in your heart?

—you're insensitive

We met again for a reason,
here in the place where it all started
When I say "hey, what's up?"
that means "I miss you"
yes, a lot
and you can't miss someone you didn't love.
whenever my name slits out from your mouth,
grasp on my heart tightens
everytime I hear it—
continuously breaking every piece of me
even if you damaged me long time ago
I always wanted to say how important you are,
a place I want to go to
when I want to be alone.
leaving you were blues–
in this world full of colors
but I could not let myself burn again,
twice by the same flame
and I hope you knew
I may not have high walls to protect you,
but I have this space in my chest in case
you need a home.
I used to pretend that everything's alright,
without those eyes
without you by my side
I always wanted to say this,
I can't stand the thought of being the one who hurt me
being with you
I don't want you to see that I'm afraid,
for it might happen again
I loved you more than you knew,
I promise that I'll always love you even if I knew that someone might love you
as much as I can do.

—you're selfless