I Must Not Tell Lies: An Autobiography

Chapter One: Bright Happy Faces

When I signed up to work at Hogwarts, I expected bright, happy faces to smile at me from the second I arrived. I was there to save them and make Hogwarts what it used to be. All of the nonsense about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had gotten everyone's bloomers in a knot. The Minister appointed me because he knew that I could get the job done, which I did. Or at least, I tried to.

The most unbearable student was called Heroin Ranger (or something like that.) She looked like a mop, and I tried to give her fashion tips, but she laughed at me. I was very hurt, but no one seemed to care. To make matters worse, she was best friends with Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. They reminded me of my cousins (I never liked my cousins.) Then there were the twins, Fred and George Weasley. They were almost as unbearable as the troublesome three (as I call them.)

My first day of teaching was rather odd. I introduced myself as the bright ray of sunshine that I am, but my efforts were in vain. I tried to make a friend, sitting next to a greasy haired man with an enormous nose, but he got up and left. I am forever a lone patriot in the battle for good education.

Regards,
Dolores