One-shots

They Keep Me Awake

Sometimes I lie on my bed at three in the morning with my eyes glued to the ceiling and I let my mind wander to various thoughts that keep me awake until six in the morning, which is the time I get up to get ready for school. Sometimes I think about things like life after death and there are times where I think about what I should have for breakfast the next day but the answer's always the same, it's always cereal and milk in the morning. Then there are times where I contemplate about what I'm doing with my life and why I feel so sad. 3AM is the worst time to think and I guess it's because that's when your thoughts become as heavy as your eyelids.

Now I'm lying on my bed at 2:58 in the morning, which is two minutes before the time I usually wake up from my slumber. I groan and roll to my side, grabbing my phone from under the pillow I'm resting my head on. I press the home button of my iPhone and squint at the bright light. My sight takes time to adjust to the light before I'm able to read what's on my phone screen, which are two text messages from my best friend, Autumn, who always checks on me around this time. There are times when I receive no text messages from her at all but I can understand. Why would she be awake around this time when she can finally have a good night's rest after all these years? I'm glad she's finally found someone who can make her happy even if sometimes he just pisses her off, but Autumn and Paeton are perfect for each other.

I click the message icon, opening my text messages from Autumn. The first message said:

"Message me once you're awake just to let me know you're okay."

And the second message said:

"Oh and good night. I better see your face tomorrow, Raen."

I sigh at these text messages and reply to her saying I was okay and wasn't planning on ending my life soon. Of course, Autumn would be one reason why I wouldn't want to leave this world and kill myself. She's one of the reasons that I'd stay because I know how much it'd hurt her if I was gone. I know she'd probably find someone else but she makes me happy, and happy enough to make me stay but that's only when I'm with her and every time I think of ending my life, my thoughts always lead to her.

I get out of bed and place my feet on the cold, hard floor with my phone in my hands. I slowly open my bedroom door to make sure I wouldn't wake up my mum who sleeps on the mattress that is placed on the floor, right beside my bed. I kind of feel sorry that she can't sleep in her own room because she'd have to watch me to make sure that I don't do anything that would hurt myself or anyone. She is the other reason why I decided to stay. After she caught me in my attempt of suicide, she has been watching me every night and asks Autumn to stay by my side in school, the only time where she can't see me. I never really go out with my other so-called friends anyway, so going to the malls is no problem since the only people I go with are either my mum or my best friend.

I slowly close the bedroom door and walk down the wooden stairs, making sure that none of the steps would creak under my feet. I grabbed my coat to cover my bra and yoga pants. I opened the front door and stepped outside, looking up at the dark sky. It was cold tonight but I didn't care. I slowly closed the door behind me and started to walk to the direction of the local park which only took 15 minutes to walk to.

The moment I reached the gates, a smile formed on my face. I saw him sitting by the swings and I fasten my pace as I walk towards him. I take a seat on the swing next to his and his eyes light up once he sees me and he has that certain smile on his face which only appears when he looks at me. I could say the same for myself. I can actually smile and feel genuinely happy when I'm with him.

"I have a bad record for dating," I say and he chuckles at the way I greet him. He shakes his head with that goofy smile still visible on his face. I giggle in response and then I ask him what's wrong. He shakes his head again and shifts his gaze from my face to the sky which was completely dark since no stars decided to come out at this time of the night.

"There's always someone who can break that record," He says as he turns his head to look at me so I'm able to see that cocky smirk on his face. I know that he was trying to imply that he broke that record but I wasn't going to mention anything. Instead, I just gave him a teasing smile.

He playfully punched me on the shoulder and pouted "Admit it; I broke the record, didn't I?"

I nodded my head and leaned in to give him a slow and gentle kiss on the lips. I released and rested my forehead on his, just looking at his dark brown eyes. I never liked brown eyes, I used to like green but he made me change my mind. I guess it's true that once you love a person, their flaws suddenly become invisible to you and you start to love everything about them.

"Your turn, Cailex," I said as I leaned back. He sighed and scrunched his eyebrows together as if he was deep in thought. I waited for a few seconds until he finally smiled like he finally knew what to say.

"I have a bad record at keeping things," he smiled proudly as if it was something to be proud of, which I found absolutely adorable "but you eventually broke that record because I will keep you."

I don't spend my three AMs thinking about other things but I come here to talk to him. Whoever comes to the park later than the other would have to start a random topic; we didn't want to be the same as everyone else who'd greet the other with a hi or hello and this is what made me fall in love. He was interesting and he was different. He keeps me temporarily sane and even if I go back to my depressed self, at least I have him as my temporary happiness and maybe soon this will become permanent and my sadness will only be temporary.

I would tell him how strong my feelings are for him but I'm too afraid. I'm afraid there aren't so much in my vocabulary to tell him how I feel and I am afraid that once he knows he makes my knees go weak, he'd break me so I'll choose to keep this a secret no matter how obvious I make it seem.

Maybe soon I'll admit to him that he is the third reason why I'm still here.

---

A/N: Heyoooo. I haven't published a story for so long so I hope this one-shot makes up for it. Someone requested (in my last one-shot) if I could make one with a happy ending and this one-shot doesn't really have a happy ending but I guess it's happy enough since no one died or anything, right? So yeah, I hope you guys like it and feel free to point out any typographical or grammatical errors (:

Click the song on the side! I am in love with it and it reminds me of the person that inspired me to make this one-shot so heh. Okay bye.