Prisoner of Desires

Chapter 10: Rescue

I wake up in a small cement room, strapped to a stretcher, and immediately attempt to

wiggle free. The sound of my struggling causes my parents to come over.

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My father double checks the restraints while my mom gently strokes my face saying,

"It's going to be ok baby. We are here now and everything is going to be a whole lot clearer by

the time you leave. You have just lost your way and need to find god again is all."

I roll my eyes and growl, "God is the one who made me this way. If I am fucked up and

my ways are so then wrong, then why give me these fucked up desires?"

She lightly kisses my forehead saying, "He tests us all baby, but he never gives us more

hardship than he knows we can bear. That is why we are here doing this for you. It is all a part of

a test of our faith and yours. So, please just open your heart to the lord once more and let's put

this whole horrible ordeal behind us."

I shake my head saying, "You don't get it. Neither of you do. This isn't some ordeal

brought on by the time I spent in a POW camp. Sure, it brought the desires to the surface, but

being whipped, burned, cut, and tortured made me realize that the me that you had raised wasn't

the person I really was. Those desires were there, and they were going to come out some day. At

least I was lucky enough to find someone who was kind, caring, and knowledgeable enough to

take me in and force me to admit who I really was before I drank myself to death trying to be the

me that you wanted."

My mom gasps and turns to my father saying, "You hear that sweetie? They are torturing

her there like they did in that horrible camp."

I quickly growl, "No mom, you are wrong. This was nothing like over there. This was far

better because I woke up feeling loved rather than worried as to if I would live through the next

day. Mira was teaching me about the lifestyle. They have things like safe words to keep people

from going too far and actually hurting someone in a bad way."

She attempts to quiet me, "Shhhh sweetie, there is no good way to hurt someone.

Otherwise it wouldn't be called hurting them. They have just filled your head with nonsense.

But, we are going to make sure that all of these bad thoughts are gone, and you are back to your

old self in no time. We are only here because we love you and don't want to see you suffer."

I can't help it, I burst into laughter and can't keep the sarcasm from my tone as I say, "If

you truly didn't want to see me suffer, then why let me drink my misery away damn near every

day since I returned home? That was suffering. What they offered me was bliss. They accepted

me for who and what I really was, and they even allowed me to come to terms with it slowly and

at my own pace. They didn't force me into their way of thinking. All they did was strip away my

insecurities and allow me to see myself for who and what I really was. One of the sayings that