Who am I? Chapter 10 - Back to being torn in between the two
One week later!
It's been a week after my party and still peoples coming up to me telling me how banging my party was and how it was a sell off, dun no! lol. I bet your wondering who it was that came and fucked up Jer-rell, well as most of you would have guessed it was my brother, Armarni, yes I no, I couldn't believe it myself but he got a early let out because that dutty white girl, Shaneel told the feds the truth, that my brother didn't do anything to her and how she did it because she wanted attention, edit gal. So yh they let him out and my mum didn't even tell me, I guess that was part of my surprise. Oh Yh I bet your wondering about me init lol, well I am a week pregnant now but I am in two minds of keeping it or getting rid of it, I still don't know who the father is so I don't want my child to grow up not knowing who there dad is and plus im still in school, doing my GSCE so if I keep it, dats my hole life FUCKED UP! Big time. I sat down and thought about it for a while, you know when you usually see these things on tv with a 16 year old girl getting pregnant and not knowing who her baby father is or u usually read it but you see how u say, your too fass lol boi what can I say bout myself? I never ever thought this would happen to me, well not now anyway, I always thought it would happen to Shantay with the amount of man she has I thought it would be her to end up with my situation but no, it missed her and turned to me, for all people it had to be me init KMFT !
It was Monday and I had school kmt! I got out my beg jumped in the shower and got ready, I called shantay and told her to come get me. I was in the "looking shexi" modd today so I pulled and ma skirt and made it short, don't even try think anything of it coz I no ber of you do it when your going school lol anyways I put in ma black pumps and began to do my hair. I slicked it back with some slickies ay the front n put my curly ponytail on. I then put some eye liner on and some mascara. Woooy my girl actually looked alrite, but its only school so you can't really look that choong when your wearing this dead out uniform kmt, my jumpers black, kmt like what the fuk out of all the colours in the world they choose BLACK fuk sake man. Shantay called me and said she outside; I ran and opened the door. I quickly spray my self with my so kiss me spray, grabbed ma bag, my oyster and my phone and closed my bedroom door. As soon as i closed it Armarni had to be fass and come out.
Armarni:Yoooo shantay
Shantay: Hii
Armarni:You lot goin skl yhh?
Me: Yh
Armarni:Good, yr looking kinder nice u no shan
Me: Kmt shul up man, how she lookin nice in that dead out uniform, stop watch me fren and go back to bed
Armarni: lol alrite alrite, calm down likkle sis, u got money
Me: No I was gonna hustle from dem likkle Indians lol
Armarni: Here take this
He gave me £20
Me: Fankoo love, see you later init
Armarni: Its kl
Shantay: Byee Marni
Armarni: safe b
She giggled. So I just push her down the stairs, as soon as we got out out blocked we saw the bus kmt. Shantay grabbed my hand and pulled me to run for the bloody bus, omg and the bud was pack up, but itz kl doe coz we got on it, we went upsairs to see ber man in der uniform. There were some nices ones but boi, im a pregnant 16 year old so I shouldn't even be watchin man right now u get me. 5minutes into the journey one boi shouts out
Boy: Yoo Shexi!
Me and shantay turn round and he saw that he was pointing at me I gave him the hardest scruw ever lol and I moved his arm and pointed at shantay. She like a dickhead went to go chat to him when there was ber man wid him unah kmt, it was our stop next and she was still chattin to him. The stop came n I go off the bus and left shantay to carryin on chattin to them boiz. I crossed the road to see Rasharne and his man dem jamming outside the gate usual.
Rashane: Yooo Sell off gal lol
Me: Hii bbe
Rasharne: Whats rong b ?
Me: Nuffin
Rasharne: O wheres shan ?
Me: I left her on the bus to chat to sum boiz
Rasharne: lol dat gal love man boi
Me: lol init
Rasharne: haha I fort u waz bad but I waz rong
Me: lol hay! im not as bad as her thank you very much
The bell rang so I linked arms with Rasharne and walked into school; he looked at me and smiled I smiled back and we carried on walking. The next minute Jordan shouts
Jordan: Woooy is that u sharne!
Me: Shut up Jordan lol
Rasharne just laughed and looked at me, we got into class and we sat next to me. That day went quick, school was dead man and shantay didn't even reach school I wonder where she ended up properly in some mans free yard. Rasharne said that he would follow me home, so we jumped on the bus together and for the whole journey we bussed joke. It was my stop so we got of the bus and walked towards my blocks. I wouldn have let him come in my house but my brother might be home so we just jammed on the stairs and bussed mor joke. This boi had me cracking up so loud for time boi. As we was laughing, he stop and looked at me n I looked at him
Me: What!
Rasharne: Nuffin
Me: So why u looking at me like that sharne
Rasharne: I dno, your just sooo beautiful
Me: Ahh shul up sharne all u boys are just the same, saying the same thing
Rasharne: Nah not even bbe, you're the most beautiful girl ive ever met
He made me blush boi omg, he proper looked serious, I put my head down and looked at ma feet lol dot ask why. Next minute I felt Rasharne turn my head and kissed me. I back away after the first kiss an looked at him
Rasharne: I love you shay
I went speechless, no words could come out my mouth, did I love him? I just couldn't find the words to say I love you to; he looked at me, waiting for me to say it back.
Me: Sharne it's getting late, I got to go, ill call you later
I kissed him on the cheek and walked into my house with tears in my eyes. I don't even no why I was upset but all I no is that I wanted him and I wanted Cameron too. I walked up the stairs and heard moan, kmt Armarni's beating a next gal, everyday he got different gal coming round the house kmt, it annoying, there always ringing off the bell and I end up opening the door. Every time I see them I give them one dutty look and tell them to close the door behind them. Lying in my bed almost dropping asleep, my fones starts ringing, I didn't even feel like talking to anybody right now so I let it ring out. It stop den rang again, I took the phone from under my pillow and answered it
Me: Kmt HELLO!
Cameron: Shay?
Me: what
Cameron: whats rong bbe?
Me: Nuffin init
Cameron: Was you sleeping b?
Me: no
Cameron: o good
I was jus quiet and waited for him to talk
Cameron: nah theres something wrong b coz yr ber quiet, did I do something wrong?
Me: No Man ! kmt
Cameron: alrite it looks like your not in the moo to talk so ill just call you tomorrow init
Me: Kmt do what your doing init Cameron, u no what don't even bother call me tomorrow
Cameron: What have I done b
Me: just come off my live Cameron!
I cut off the phone, I was jus angry for some reason, I felt angry with the world and not myself. My baby's father situation was jus killing me, have I just lost the one I love and the one who could be my baby's? What have I done ?
