Book Critiques! [Closed For Catchup]

Psychedelic

By: misha_stone

Cover:

Girl you just smack dabbed your title unto any random picture. I mean C'mon! Even your name is not on the cover!

Overall take:

Work on the cover and don't use that font. Way too many books have it and frankly, I'm getting quite itritated by it. I guess the picture you used is suitable though.

Blurb:

It was nice but short. If you had made it longer, I wouldn't feel like you stopped the blurb halfway. I was just beginning to get curious when you ended it.

Overall take:

You need to get your readers thoroughly curious if you want them to click on your book and when they do, they'd check out your first chapter and decide if they want to stay or not.

First Chapter:

What an interesting chapter title *insert black moon face here*

You got me laughing on the first few paragraphs which is a good thing but as I scrolled down, I found myself reaching for my bible. I mean it was Sunday! I had just gotten out of church.  There should've been a warning especially because it's the first chapter... I don't know what I expected though, the title says enough but still, warn us naive readers that still thought it was going to be an innocent chapter.

Overall take:

You had a lot of simple sentences here which made it a bit hard understanding which sentence related to which. Try learning your punctuations and what they're used for and you'd find yourself with better sentence structures.

There wasn't particularly anything page turning. After the incident in the room, it simply got boring. The rest if it was describing some girl on the dance floor whom he knew. That's it. Try editing that part and replacing it with something more interesting.  The first chapter is meant to make your readers hooked not bored. You can describe Blake a little but most of her descriptions should be spread throughout the book.

Characters:

Aiden:

I could tell from the first chapter that he's a funny and observant guy but a bit closed off and has probably been heart broken.

Blake:
Weird suicidal girl.

Jackson:
Suicidal girl's savior.

Lydia:

She's a walking corpse for some reason; Dead on the inside.

Overall take:

There aren't many dialogues in your book, which makes it harder to actually describe the characters but from what I've read, all your main characters are alike. Gloomy personalities, all dead inside. All of them need saviours and there's basically no diversity and it makes the story boring and hard to read through.

Plot:

Dark people fall in love and fix each other. This is basically in every wattpad story so it's not so unique.
I haven't seen anything so interesting so far. I just mindlessly scrolled through the pages. The only thing I looked forward to was Lydia's POV because she has an interesting life.