Huntress in New Orleans (Book 9, TVD/TO)

Chapter 3__Haunter of Ruins

Most of the Mikaelsons were staying at their farmhouse to get reacquainted with Hope, while I was sitting at a bar at the bar, drinking to try to calm my nerves, and injecting myself with vervain to keep me weakened so I didn't let the Huntress win. 

Elijah walked closer. "How did I know that I would find you at the nearest bar?"

"Hilarious," I told him sarcastically. "But go ahead, have a seat. Have a drink with me. Put me out of my misery."

Elijah sat next to me, taking the glass I offered him. "I hope you don't mean that literally."

"Don't make me regret telling you everything," I told him.

Elijah shook his head. "I wouldn't. I'm glad you told me. It helps me know where to start with helping you."

I smirked slightly. "Oh, we're back to that, huh?" 

"Are you drunk?" Elijah asked in amusement. 

I took a drink. "It helps with the urges and the instincts."

"Let me guess," Elijah told me. "You've been sitting here for hours, drinking to calm your instincts and urges, wishing that the world would disappear so that you wouldn't have to feel guilty for hurting anyone else."

"Pretty much," I answered. "But then the isolation would probably drive me a lot more crazy than I already am, so I would invite you to stay." Elijah smirked slightly in amusement, nodding in understanding. "I've hurt a lot of people over the last two years, Elijah. Killed hundreds of vampires. Hurt the ones that I loved. I was ruthless. I couldn't control it. Sometimes I would fall asleep after a massive hunt, and I would wake up as the Huntress, and not myself, and it would take weeks or months for me to take control of my own body again, which is why I'm so scared of losing myself to her all of the time, because she can take control when I'm sleeping, and I don't know who she'll hurt. How do you know that you can help me? I mean, I'm immune to any form of magic now, which means that you can't compel me out of having the instincts, or having to kill, because compulsion is magic."

"You said that your family, the Sirens and the Devil were able to get into your head," Elijah told me.

"It was hard for them to do so, but yeah," I told him.

"Well, maybe I can't compel you, but I might be able to help you suppress your urges," Elijah told me. "And your darker memories that still torment you."

"That easy to see, huh?" I asked, sighing. "But it might not be that easy to help me deal with all of this."

"Perhaps, but I would like to at least try," Elijah told me. I looked at him, managing a small, grateful smile. "You've helped save me and my family three times."

"And you think that helping me with this will pay me back?" I asked. "How many times did you save me while we were in Mystic Falls, or the time that you stopped me from dying because I was afraid of becoming the Huntress when I came to rescue you from the Strix? Yeah, we both had fights, but..."

"But we also have a history of helping each other," Elijah finished. "There is one good thing that didn't change."

"Yeah, it is nice to have a constant in a otherwise inconstant life," I told him, taking out a vervain dart to use it on me. Elijah took it away before I could. I looked up in complaint. "Hey. I've got to keep myself weakened so she doesn't take control."

"Hurting yourself should not be the answer," Elijah told me.

"Well, neither is hurting others, and I'm doing everything I can not to," I told him.

"Yet it seems that you need  a release to vent all this pent up anger and aggression so that it doesn't take ahold of you," Elijah told me. "You can't keep hurting yourself and fearing yourself forever, because that fear is what gives the Huntress power over you. You take away that fear, you take away that power. And you won't have to lose yourself to her ever again."