Lost

Chapter 4

Mel's is open 24 hours and we have decided to switch the sleepover to Randy's house since her mom doesn't really care what time we get home. We've been sitting at Mel's being the loudest teenagers there for the past 5 hours, it's almost four in the morning. I love hanging out with my friends late at night I love them to death, I have become so close to them this year and even though sometimes I feel like they don't appreciate me I still appreciate them and I don't know what I would do without them.

Since water polo season began I have not been the same, I'm always depressed. I'm usually a very happy person and I always smile but since September I don't. Eddy always asks me why I don't smile. None of these dipshits realizes I hate my life, I have suicidal thoughts at times. No one notices instead they just talk about there problems but no one asks me how I feel. Even Zayn who seems to care a lot about me never asks how my day was. Eddy has always told me that if I need anyone to talk to he's there for me but in reality I feel like he wouldn't understand anything that I feel because he thinks everything in life is easy and the reason why a person is not happy is because they choose not to be happy.

"Brenda what's wrong?" Wow Eddy it's like you really just read my mind!

"Nothing I'm just tired." I honestly feel like crying right now, I don't know why but I feel as if everything in my life is just falling apart.

"How was your day." Eddy shut up before I start balling in front of everyone.

"Uh it was fun! I met Harry and my friends met some new guys as well." I try to convince him with my best smile but I can feel a knot in my throat being created.

Harry coughs extremely loudly when I mention his name, everyone turns and looks at him with confusion.

"Sorry I was choking" I just give him a small smile.

"I'm going to the restroom." I need to get away from them as soon as possible!

I want to run into the bathroom and cry my eyes out but if I do that I will end up with red puffy eyes and a runny nose. It will be obvious I cried and once I start I wont be able to stop.

After too little time in the restroom I head back to the table. I'm not sure if anyone notices how sad I am or if they think I just want attention because no one cares to try asking me if I need to go outside and talk. I can really use a friend right now, to be honest I don't know what I would talk about but I just want to cry and have someone hug me and play with my hair. These are the times when I hate the single life the most! Harry would be the perfect person to cry into.

"Brendaaaa stop being sad!!" Zayn wraps his arms around my waist and I fight the tears back.

"I'm not" I say as I put my head down on the table. At this point I know no one cares to know what I feel like and I just want to go home. Too bad I have to go to my friends sleepover.