Consciousness

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I am falling, falling into a never ending hell that I cannot escape from. Soon my own dreams will envelope me and cloud my perception of the world. Or what's left of it.

I awoke dazed and confused about the world around  me, the voice in my head  begging me to find answers, begging my body to move. But I was frozen, unable to move legs, armed wrapped round my torso getting tighter and tighter as I tried to penetrate through the darkness to scan my surroundings. Where was I? Was I alive or was what I was seeing another dream? I didn't know and there was no way for me to tell. I was inevitably alone but I craved answers.

I fumbled hopelessly around trying to find something anything that I would recognise, something that I would remember. Even the feeling of touching  ice cold water and the feeling of the cold aftershock bouncing around my veins, travelling up my arm or the feeling of the rough silky fabric of bed sheets and the comfort that they brought. But there was nothing until there was something. The feeling of rubber but thin rubber as if it could be broken or bent. Then my hand moved over to the left and I felt a cold sensation. Water? No It couldn't of been this feeling was cold ,yes, but it was also hard. Metal. My hand moved right again and hovered above where I found the rubber sensation as I tried to figure out what to do next.

As I sat there undecided about what to do with this rubber sensation I felt my hand begin to grow heavy and land on the rubber. It bent. But it did not break.  Instead it touched something, something hard and ball shaped. More metal? I couldn't be sure, but whatever it was clicked but didn't make a noise. Not even a sound.

Now you would think that this would bring me comfort and satisfaction but it didn't. I still had questions that I longed to be answered. Where was I? Am I still asleep? Is this a dream? And the one that was most important of all
What was my name?

"Consciousness is a disease"~ manual de Unamuno

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