K A R L I E
It's the last night of playlist, and you and your friends are trying to make the most of your time together. Kaitlyn and Alayna are flying back to Canada tomorrow morning, and Hannah and Cara are leaving for the UK in the afternoon.
So, like the responsible adults that you are, you're going to remain completely sober and go to bed at a reasonable hour--
"Who wants to do shots?" Cara yells.
More hands go up than you can count.
Okay, maybe you're not so responsible. But you're with friends, and a little partying can't hurt. On the count of three, you tip the alcohol into your mouth. Cara whoops, "YAS, Karlie! I knew you had it in you!" and proceeds to drunkenly pat you on the back.
It's then when you see Taylor making her way over to you. "Do you mind if I join you?" she yells over the music, "Ed and Tessa left already and I don't want to be a loser on my own."
"Of course!" you say, a little too enthusiastically. You can tell that she's had a drink or two, because she sways along to the music without caring who's watching; all of the nervousness from earlier is gone.
Suddenly, a more upbeat song begins to play. Taylor smirks, "Dance with me, Karlie!" She takes your hand in hers, and tugs you to the dance floor before you can even protest. You feel a blush rushing to your cheeks, and you struggle to stay calm when she's so beautiful.
"You're so pretty," you sigh dreamily, as she headbangs enthusiastically.
"What?" she asks, "The music's too loud to talk in here, sorry!" You shake your head and chuckle, as she runs back to the bar to grab Cara.
"This little shit thinks I'm no good at dancing!" Cara says, running onto the dance floor.
Taylor laughs, "No, I just said you couldn't beat my sick moves." As Taylor demonstrates some of those so-called "sick moves," you have to turn away to keep her from seeing you laughing. They consist of mostly flailing arm movements and random jumping.
Cara shakes her head menacingly, and then manages to find a spot on the floor not occupied by people's feet. She promptly does a few breakdancing moves, and Taylor's jaw drops in awe. She's cute when she's drunk, you think. Wait...what?
"And that, my friend, is how you dance. Mic drop!" Cara drops an invisible microphone and struts away, basking in glory.
Taylor turns to you and pouts. "Remind me never to challenge a breakdancer to a dance battle ever again.
You giggle, and take her hand before you can chicken out. "Well, I'm awful at dancing too, so we're in the same boat."
"Didn't you do ballet?"
"Well, yes, but I'm not that good at this kind of dancing." Actually, you aren't half bad, but if a white lie will make Taylor feel better, it's worth it.
~*~
It's almost midnight and you've managed to escape the pulsing noise by hiding out in a bathroom down the hall. Once you've sobered up a bit, you and Taylor decided to try to find a place where you could actually talk without losing your voice.
"So, Karlie," Taylor says, jumping up to sit on the counter, "Tell me about your life!" She motions dramatically and hits her hand on the paper towel dispenser. You laugh at that for much longer than necessary because it's just so funny--okay, maybe you're not as sober as you'd like to believe you are.
"I don't know, what is there to tell?" you shrug.
"What are your goals? Where do you want to travel? Is there a special someone in your life?" Taylor winks. Then, dropping the act, she says, "I'm just trying to make conversation, you've gotta help me out here."
You chuckle, and join her on the counter. "Honestly if you know the answers to any of those questions, please let me know. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. And I'm graduating in a year, so that's kind of a problem."
Taylor runs a hand through her hair. "Yeah, you're not gonna be getting any help from me in that department. With youtube it's like, you have no idea where you'll a year from now. You've just got to pray that you'll continue growing. You're lucky you at least have college as a thing to fall back on." She slumps against the wall. "That's why I still haven't quit my other job. Like, I want to, then I'll have more time for videos and music, but then there's nothing to fall back on if something goes awry."
You place a comforting hand on her knee. "Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I'm just scared that, if I decide to do this full time, the site will change, and in five years we'll all be out of a job. They're not on our side. You can already see with some of the biggest people. The views are going down, which means the money is too."
You sit in silence for a few moments. Taylor picks at a scab on her knee, and you swing your feet. It feels liberating, daring almost, to discuss the temporariness of this whole thing with somebody you're just getting to know. But she gets it. For some reason you find it easy to be vulnerable around her.
Taylor finally speaks, "It's not really the money part that scares me. I'm just terrified of becoming irrelevant. I don't want to die without being remembered."
It's a quiet declaration. A timid whisper into the void, and a plea to be understood.
For a moment, all you can hear is her breathing. "I know it's stupid, but there's just this primal desire that drives me to keep going because I need to be remembered."
You don't say anything. You don't need to. Instead, you wrap an arm around her, and walk her to her room when she starts to fall asleep.
A/N:
I really love this chapter, honestly. I think you can tell that I was reading a lot of possibilist's carmilla oneshots while writing this bc I totally absorbed/imitated their style. If you like carmilla (or the 100), I totally suggest checking their stuff out. They're on ao3 and tumblr I believe.
Anyway, this is the latest thing I'll post while being fourteen. It's fucking weird to think about. Idek fam I don't want to grow up. (If you're doing the math, yes that means that my earliest one shots were written when I was 12 which explains how cringey they are). I listened to Red today and honestly Taylor can fucking shut up about all that "sonically cohesive" bullshit because that album deserved a fucking Grammy okay (sorry I'm just v passionate about this)
Okay bye fam!
☆
P.s. for any of you Lorde fans, I'm working on a cover of Green Light that will hopefully be on my yt in the near future.
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{HIATUS} Rewind | Kaylor
Fanfikce{A Kaylor Youtuber AU} The internet is known for bringing people together. Taylor has made most of her best friends through the internet, and Karlie is no exception. Except, maybe she is. Because maybe she's more than a friend. Or maybe Taylor...
