Our Secret

Chapter 1

Courtney's POV

No one is staring at you Court, calm down! It's gonna be alright just breathe. Inhale and exhale. "Courtney," Mr. Ickory called on me. Ahh! "Are you okay?" He asked me. How many times have I been asked that today? "May I go to the restroom?" I asked him. "Yes the pass is right over there," he pointed at the cabinet. I stood up from my seat, and began to walk over to the cabinet that was next to Mr. Ickory's desk. I tried my best to walk quietly, but the leather mid-raised boots I was wearing didn't allow me to walk quietly. I caused a scene every place I went whenever I wore these, especially in such a quiet area where you could basically hear a pin drop.

I was either walking half a square per minute, or this classroom was longer than usual because it felt like I was walking on a never ending path. "Hurry up Courtney we don't have all day," Mr. Ickory ordered. Okay okay give me a break. I've done nothing but make straight A's in this class, what else do you want? At last, I made it to the cabinet. I snatched the bathroom pass, and stormed out of the classroom. Please someone has to answer me. I went inside the last stall of the restroom, and I whipped my phone out. One new message. Brett ... BRETT!

Brett: It's okay there's no need to worry. No one knows, no one is gonna find out. I promise.

He actually texted me. Yes, Mr. Ickory I'm fine. For now. I immediately texted Brett back.

Me: That's not true Brett. I want to believe u I really do! But we did something horrible. People can't forgive us for that. What I'm trying to say is that I'm scared Brett, I'm terrified.

Sugarcoating our situation was pointless. We weren't safe, I knew that already. I risked my life, and the lives of 4 other people just because of my selfish needs. I was a monster, not them. Especially not Brett.

Brett: it's okay no one is gonna find out, trust me.

I only trust you, Brett. I love you. I didn't send him that though. I didn't have the courage to send him a message like that, yet alone speak to him like that. He didn't go for girls like me; shy, awkward, boring. My mom tells me I'm beautiful, but I can never seem to agree with her. Whenever I look into the mirror the first thing I notice are my eyes. God my eyes! I was blessed with a dull eye shape, and an eye color I was never really fond of. Brown, boring brown. The most common eye color in the world.

My dad however wasn't really in the picture. Whenever I was born my father wanted nothing to do with me. I never understood why. Something about commitment. He felt as though since my mother was pregnant with his child, the appropriate thing to do was marry her. The truth was their love wasn't real. It never was. I was the barrier of his decision. He wasted his time pretending to love someone he never loved in the first place, and when it came time for my birth well ... then it just became me and my mom. That's how it's always been. I love my mom, and no one can change that. I force myself to believe that if my dad were here he would make the relationship between me and my mom unbearable. I should head back to class.

A minute later I was back in Mr. Ickory's class. For the last 5 minutes of class most of the students, including me, watched as the clock hit 1:24 pm. BRING! Class was now over. I grabbed the leftover papers that were on my desk, and I shoved them in my backpack. I threw my bag onto my back, and headed out the door. "Courtney wait! We have to talk!" Mr. Ickory shouted at me, as I already had one foot out the door. Remember just breathe. I nodded my head in agreement. "You've been acting differently this week," he pointed out the obvious. I guess my sudden change in behavior was noticeable. "And?" I questioned him. "I'm worried about you," he cut to the chase. "Did anything happen to you at the beginning of this month?" He began to interrogate me. Brett Brett where are you? I need you! My heart felt as if it were about to fly out of my chest. Calm down Court. "Courtney," Mr. Ickory called once. "Courtney!" He repeated. No no make it stop, make it stop! My breathing went from steady and manageable, to short and heavy breathes. Mr. Ickory's voice filled my head, it grew louder and stronger every time he repeated my name. A few cold tears dripped down my face, but none of them were visible. "Get to class," Mr. Ickory sighed in disappointment. He went back behind his desk, and continued doing his work on his computer. I stepped out of his classroom as he had demanded.
Instead of going to my 6th period class, I decided to go to the restroom again. I didn't bother going into a stall, since no one ever went into the restroom anyway. I checked my phone once more for any new text messages from Brett. I had 1. Not from Brett though.

Michael: r u alright? Brett told me you've felt a bit uneasy about u know ... everything.

Pfft. Brett's little brother was the second best thing.

Me: of course I am, I'm fine. Where's ur brother?

I didn't type that last part though. I told you I'm a coward! I stayed in the restroom until school was over. Around two hours had past and I had no visitors, nor a response from Michael. Such a strange kid.

BRING!

...

I'm guessing you want some sort of explanation for my heightened senses. "Courtney honey get off your phone! Dinner's getting cold!" My mother hollered at me. I put everything aside, and went downstairs. It's never the right time.