Amanda's POV
I wake up with a wet face and my face buried into Simon's chest. I look up and he's sleeping but his face is wet with tears as well. I wonder why he was crying so much that he cried himself to sleep. He's only known me for two months but he cares so much for me and is so sweet to me. I don't even deserve him in my life. I start to think of what happened last night while playing with Simon's t-shirt softly. I put a gun in my mouth to end it and he stopped me...... he saved me. I feel a movement and Simon looks down at me with a smiling face. I reach and wipe his face and he just keeps a smile on his face.
"Morning." I whisper and push his hair back, not that he needed me to.
"Morning." he mumbles and cups my cheek. He leans down and kisses me softly. Kissing back, I wrap my arm around his neck and I feel him smile against my lips. I don't how I feel about him but this just feels right. He hides his face in my neck and makes me laugh. I think about him showing up last night and now I want to ask why.
"Simon." I whisper.
"Yes?" he answers into my neck, his lips grazing my skin.
"Why did you show up at the house last night?" I ask. His smile disappears and he looks away from me. I see him reach his hand to his face and play it off like hes not crying. He turns back to me and his face is red.
"I couldn't lose you Amanda." he breaks and his grip tightens on me.
"I know I've only known you for two months but I think I like you." he says.
"Simon I...." I whisper and try to pull away from his grip because I'm just not ready for him yet. He keeps a tight grip and I just want him to let go of me.
"Please, let go." I struggle. He grip loosens but I still can't get out. I feel my anxiety coming and it's like everything is closing in and he's gonna hurt me.
"LET GO!!" I scream and punch him hard. He falls to the floor and I jump off the couch and run upstairs. I go to the bathroom and slam and lock the door. I look around and it's huge, so big you could probably fit fifty bodies in this place. I walk to the mirror and just stare at myself. I take off my shirt and pants and just stand and stare. The bruises that still haven't healed and the scars that will never leave. The ugly freckles on my body and the fact that my face never looks good unless I have on makeup.
"Amanda, let me in darling." Simon says, knocking on the door multiple times.
"Go away." I yelp. He keeps talking but I just block it out and close my eyes, keeping my hands straight by my waist. I feel a set of arms wrap around me and I know who it is.
"What are you doing?" he whispers in my ear.
"Why am I so unperfect?" I ask, eyes still closed and body still.
"What do you mean?" he asks. I open my eyes and hes looking at me as if I had gone insane.
"I mean the bruises and scars. The ugly freckles that are on my body." I whisper, rubbing my hand back and forth on his arm.
"Look at me." he whispers and turns me around, placing his gruff hands on my hips.
"Your bruises will go away and each scar tells a story." he says.
"How's that?" I ask, furrowing my brow. He lets out a sigh and then pulls his shirt off.
"This." he points to a scar on his chest. "This was a suicide attepmt when I was a teen." he says.
I run my fingers across the scar and he shivers. He grabs my hand and squeezes lightly and then leans down and kisses me softly. I can't help but kiss back, with his plump lips against mine it's impossible not to. He pulls me closer and goes deeper into the kiss. It soon gets pretty heated and I have to stop because I don't know if I want this.
"Mandy." he sighs and carresses my face. I look up at him and he just stares at me waiting for something to happen.
"Please, tell me now if you want us or not? I can't keep going on like this where your always leading me on." he says sternly.
"Simon, I d-don't know." I stutter out.
"That's all I needed to hear." he says disappointed, dropping his hands and walking away. What in the hell did I just do. I grab my clothes and put them back on and then walk out to the back porch. I notice a hammock and go lay in it. Swinging back and forth, I just let myself drift and let the peace take me over.
Simon's POV
I text my friend David and tell him what's going on. He says he'll head over so I grab a quick shower and change my clothes. By the time I'm done theres a knock at the door and I grab it. I met by David and his wife Alesha.
"Hey Si." she says and hugs neck.
"Hey love." I say, hugging her back and then hugging David.
"Alright, when do I get to meet this woman?" Alesha asked with a smile.
"Right now actually. I think shes out back." I smile and lead them to the porch. I walk out and to the hammock that is swinging. Her eyes are closed and she has her hands folded on her stomach. She looks so beautiful and I can't help but stare.
"Mandy." I say, touching her thigh softly. Her eyes fly open and she almost hits me but I catch her before she does. She's breathing hard and then her eyes catch David's and I feel a bit jealous.
"I'm David Walliams, Simon's friend." he smiles and she shakes his hand.
"I'm Amanda Holden.....just a resident I guess." she smirks. Alesha fake coughs and I chuckle.
"Oh and this is my wife Alesha Dixon." David says, wrapping his hand on her waist. Amanda frowns and then slides out of the hammock. I know that frown, it's when she see's something she likes but can't have. I take her hand and pull her to my bathroom and then shut the door.
"I know that frown. I thought you liked me?" I ask.
"I-I don't even know anymore Simon! It's been hell since I got with Chris! When will it stop! Every man I'm with either wants sex or just wants to beat me until I'm dead!" she starts to cry.
"I don't want those things." I whisper and hold her arms tightly.
"Then what do you want from me?!?! I just want you to leave me alone for God's sake!" She starts to rasie her voice.
"You wanna know what I want? You really want to know?" I whisper and she nods her head.
"I want you to look at me and see the signals I'm throwing your way! I want you to see what I see in you! I want you to know what I think of you! I think your beautiful and amazing! Your body mesmorizes me and your voice just paralyzes me! Amanda, I want you to feel how fast my heart beats when your anywhere close to me! I want you to know that I Love YOU!"
