Fifty Shades Darker: My Ana

Remembering That Night

As soon as soon we made it into her apartment, I shoved her against the wall as I attacked her mouth. I couldn't wait any longer and neither could she. You could hear our panting and deep breathing going. My hands were everywhere as I had my lips on hers.

My hand palmed her breast as she gasped out. "Christian!" The Dom in me came out as I grabbed her hair from the back, hard as I kept her head in place and kept kissing her, my lips trailing from her mouth to her neck, leaving a wet trail.

"God, I want you! I want you more than I ever wanted anyone else." I placed her hand on my hard cock. "See what you do to me. You drive me fucking crazy!"

I lifted her pushing her up against the wall, she was wearing a skirt so easy acess. I pulled her thong as I ripped it off her. She gasped in surprise feeling the sting of the pull. I pulled back just enough, using my hips to keep her in place. Getting the condom as I unzipped freeing my cock. I slipped the condom on and shove it right in her wet pussy.

"Holy fuck, Christian!" Ana cried out as I pounded her against the wall.

Hmmm...my girl has a filthy mouth! I like it!

"Christ! It's been too long baby," I said, gruffly. I swiveled my hips as I kept plunging in and out.

"Deeper and harder Christian! Please!" she begged. Now who was the one begging?

"Your wish is my command! Hold on!" I said, carrying her through the living area and into her room. We tumbled onto her bed still connected. Our lips were frantic as we were kissing.

"Put your legs over my shoulder baby," I commanded.

She followed my order, as soon as she did my dick went deeper hitting her sweet spot. She cried out in pleasure as I grunted along.

"Fuck, baby! You're so goddamn fucking wet! Just for me! Only I make you this wet! Say it!"

I pumped harder and faster making her back arch pushing her chest out for me.

"Yes! Oh yes! Christian, only you!" she screamed out in pleasure as she came hard.

"You're damn right only me!" I screamed out as I felt my balls give way and came hard inside of her. I pulsed so much that I never thought it would end.

I landed on top of Ana as I was exhausted. Me, Christian Grey who has lots of stamina. We were a hot mess, tangled with each other. I pulled back some as I had to discard the condom. I looked in her eyes. I saw love and compassion. I couldn't hold in what I was feeling for her any longer.

"Ana...I have to tell you something. I have been trying to figure out how to say it...its been driving me crazy...I have so many emotions running through me."

She looked back in my eyes as she said, "What is it Christian?"

I looked deep in her eyes as I said, "I...I'm so in love with you. I'm so completely and utterly in love with you I could just burst. I have never had these strong feelings for anyone before. It's you baby...you are the one I've waited my whole life for." My heart was beating out of my chest, so much, that I thought it would explode.

"Oh Christian! I love you too. So much!" she whispered out to me.

I continued looking in her blue eyes. "Really? You still love me even after what I...did..." I couldn't even finish what I was saying, as I my voice was cracking. I had so many emotions....that I started crying. I placed my head on her shoulder as I started crying. It all hit me at once.

Ana held me against her. "Shhh...it's okay..." She just held me in her arms after we made love. My body quivered as I caved into my emotions, remembering that night she left me.

That night...when I spanked her with my whip to punish her, and the way she looked at me afterwards. It was like I had two heads or grown horns. I was going to comfort her but instead she got up and shoved me away! I could still hear her words, like it just happened.

"No! Don't fucking touch me!" She screamed at me. "This is what you want? You want to see me like this?" she asked, her eyes filled with tears and voice filled with emotion.

All I wanted to do was to hold her. But she wouldn't let me.

"Ana..." I said, trying to reason with her.

"Don't come near me," Ana said as she cried holding herself. "Does this give you pleasure?"

I stepped forward as she stopped me. "Don't. Don't you dare come near me," her voice quivered.

What had I done? She was the most beautiful and wonderful creature to come into my life and I...I pushed her away. With all my fifty shades of fucked up, I pushed her away. She left the red room of pain, in pain. I was such a monster. How could I have done that to her?

When I came to her in her room that night, she told me then she was falling in love with me. No! I told myself. This can't happen. She can't love me. I'm incapable of love...but I wasn't. I knew then I was really starting to fall for Ana.

I didn't sleep at all that night. After she came down to join me in the main living area, she approached me. She asked for her car back, but Taylor had already sold it. She asked for the money, I told her I would send her a check. I told her Taylor would take her home. I hear her footsteps on the floor as she was leaving. I couldn't take this pain in my chest anymore. I had to stop her.

Go after her Grey! Make her stay. I walked over to the elevator. She stopped and turned toward me. Her eyes filled with tears.

"Stop!" she yelled to me. "No!"

Ana got into the elevator. My heart pounded like crazy as she looked back at me. Beg her to stay! I wanted her to stay. We could work this out.

"Ana...please..." I begged to her.

She looked back at me. The door closing. She said my name in anguish, "Christian." It closed.

That tore me up! I fell to the floor in tears! She left me! Ana said she would never leave and she did. I relived that pain all over again in my head. And now, here we are.

Ana just kept holding me as my tears fell. She was consoling me, telling me over and over, "It will be okay, Christian. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere ever again. I'm yours."

"I'm so sorry, Ana. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me. I love you," I chanted over and over again as she held and caressed me.

That night changed everything. Ana leaving me was the best decision she ever made. It made me realize; how much I really wanted her. How much I wanted vanilla in my life.