Behind Your Eyes

chapter 1: Eyes

Day one: Senior Year

"Hayden's here..."

"Omg look how hot he'd gotten."

"He's definitely got his look back..."

"At least he doesn't look sad anymore..."

I am sitting in front of my locker listening to music when you walk through the hall. Everything slows down- almost cliché- come to think of it.

I look up at you with my green eyes. You look down with your warm chocolatey brown ones. I couldn't look you in the eye and not see the pain that's hidden behind them. Your lips​ turn up a bit as you walk pass me.

I end up watching you walk away and turn down the hall as i sit, stupidly, on the floor with everything else moving by slowly.

At first, i didn't know what to think of you. You're kind and pleasant. Yet, you hang out with the popular group of people who are disturbingly rude beyond repair. It's like you don't necessarily fit in. Or something along the lines of not quite blending in. I don't know. I guess the only reason no one questions it is because you're dating... Her.

The most well-known member of the popular group, Katie Green. I got nothing against her except the fact that she lies like a rug. You believe her because that's what you believe is the right thing to do. But deep down, i know, you know, that it's wrong. That you're not okay with the fact that she's secretly with your best friend. That when you turn your back, they hold hands.

Honestly, it's like they want to be caught. You know she cheats on you with him. But you want to believe the fact that she'll change and love you again.

I can't tell if it's the vulnerability of being alone. Or it's the fact that she's all you actually have left. I mean, you have you're parents, but it's hard to confide in someone who is barely around.

You don't know me. You barely acknowledge my existence. For now, that's okay. It's the way things are. I am at the bottom and you're at the top.

You are lost and hurting. Yet, your warm brown eyes never seem to dull. They can melt any heart at a glance. And, yet, you never seem to notice. You're too trapped inside your own world to see.

And honestly, it's the saddest thing I've ever seen.

So... Here i am, on the first day my senior year, staring at you, knowing the fact that things will never change. That you'll never get tired of being used and that you'll never leave. Because it's all you know. And you like things that are comfortable. That are same. Change scares you. So, you stay, where things are safe.

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The bell rings for first period. I heave myself off the ground with books in hand and slowly find my way to English. I plop down in a seat closest to a window, away from everyone else and wait.

It's like this every year. The bell rings. We wait for our teachers to enter the class. We listen to our teachers drone speeches about how this year's gonna be. Then we leave. The first day is always the shortest due to the fact we just listen to monotoned teachers repeat how this year's gonna work.

And every year, no one listens. So, like every year, i find a seat by the window and stare at the world moving on without us.

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Lunch comes before i know it. And the gossip spreads like wildfire.

"Hayden's back from the dead."

"I can't remember the last time i actually saw Hayden without Katie."

"Hayden and Katie... Broke up?"

Oh. I guess change does happen for a reason.

I just find the whole thing sad. So what if he found out that she and his best friend are dating while he and Katie were still together? Can't he just have privacy? He isn't a celebrity. There isn't a need to blast out people's private life.

Even in the loud chattering in the lunch room i can still hear the snide comments that are being tossed back and forth.

"Don't think I wanna get back together with you, Hayden. Just the idea of it makes me sick."

My heart aches for him. He doesn't deserve this.

"Trust me. I wasn't thinking about it.." he smirks.

You were. Trust me, Hayden, don't try to hide it. It'll just ​hurt more...

I sigh and by a water bottle and walk pass them. I walk out of the cafeteria. I sit on a bench outside and pull out my lunch and open a book.

•
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About half way through lunch i feel someone staring. I look up.

Hayden.

"Are you lost?" I scrunch my eyebrows together.

"Huh? Uh what?" Hayden studders.

"I said... Are you lost? The cafeteria isn't around here."

He looks at me blankly...

"Unless you are trying to escape said cafeteria, then please, move along. You're hovering is starting to freak me out." I look down at my book.

"Camila Jones?" Hayden says barely above a whisper.

"You know my name?"