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Guys i need yall to pray for me

Ok so first off i may or may have not kinda started cutting.

So the other day i took like a shaving razor and cut it a few times across my thumb i mean it didnt hurt but it did cut me and to me i enjoyed it.

I thought it was taking stress and pain away so i kept doing it.

Should i stop

Comment because i need to know.

Next so today was the day i never thought would come.

So you know how you do those tornado drills in school and you never think you would have to use them.

We did.

Today at about 1 something during my math the speaker in the school said.

"Everyone go to the hallway and get into tornado position this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill."

To be honest

I was sleeping in class about .3 seconds and when i woke up they were asking what was going on then the speaker went off.

So we went to the hallway and got into position.

We put of heads near the wall and put our hands to protect our spinal cords.

Guys the part that got me was when the halls fell silent.

No one moved nor spoke.

It was dead silence.

You could hear everything outside.

The wind the leaves.

Anything.

Then the sirens went off.

Everyone started breathing heavy i started crying and praying to god my siblings would be okay.

Then they said it was by the air force base.

Guys my stepdad works there.

I then looked at my friends and we all looked at each other.

Then my friends told me just think of Hayes because they knew what i was thinking.

They knew how scared i was.

They knew i had been through this before.

Then the teacher told us to just go to sleep.

So i did when i woke up we were still on lockdown.

A kid asked if he could just go to the other side of the school to just check on his brother but we werent allowed.

I heard people crying.

I was scared.

I tried to remain calm but couldnt.

I thought of Hayes Nash everyone.

None of it helped that much.

After a while it was over.

Guys were planning on having another tornado wednesday.

Please pray for me guys im scared its said to be worse.

Guys.

Say i love you and hug your parents everyday before you leave your house.

You never know when your last day will be.

I can see everything that went on today

If someone asked me what happened i see it all like im in it at that exact moment.

I can see me saying bye to my mom and i love her and hugging her.

I do that because i know where i live.

Im not gonna say its horrible but im not gonna say its good too.

Guys stay strong and pray and show kindness to the ones who need it.

Bye guys,

I love yall so much.