Love is War (Punk harry styles fic)

Chapter Seven

"Belle?"

I looked up from my book to see Jesse at my door. She wore an unreadable expression, and her body language was odd. I put my sketch book to the side and sat back up.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Do you mind if I come in?"

"No, Go ahead."

She smiled warmly and walked in, taking a seat across from me on the bed.

"What's up?"

"Well I needed to talk to you because I'm concerned."

I looked down and played with my hands. I knew where she was going with this.

"What about?" I asked nervously.

"You've been  acting really different lately. Sad and depressed actually."

She was probably right. I've felt different lately. 2 weeks ago I had been mortified for being optimistic. Harry turned out to be a real awful character and I had lost full interest. Actually it felt almost as if I'd lost my full creative inspiration as an artist. I thought I'd been hiding it better but apparently not. I couldn't seem to get why it had bothered me and effected me so deeply.

"Did something happen? You know I'm always here right?"

"I'm fine. I've just....been exhausted lately with work and trying to make new murals."

I tried my best to sell it and much to my surprise she had seemed to buy it.

"Well alright."

She reached her arms and gave me a quick hug before getting up and leaving. Had I really been coming off as sad and depressed? I mean I have been staying home a lot and I haven't talked to her as much. Maybe it is a bit drastic to be so effected by a person who wasn't even really a part of my life. I reached into my nightstand and pulled out a folder, opening it and flipping through the pages. The first few days after the club I found myself drawing countless portraits and sketches of Harry. The sad part is they were some of my best works.

 But after it started to set in I lost all motivation to even paint or draw. Perhaps, all I need to do is go back out and find a new source of inspiration? There has to be something out there that's more poetically beautiful and inspiring and safer to be around. My mind was settled. I'd go back out and find a new muse!

Looking over at my clock I saw that it was already 11:00 p.m. I'll go in the morning. Knowing that there were people like Harry and Grant out there and so close struck the idea that it wouldn't be too wise to go out this late, especially alone. I cleared off my bed and layed my head down on my pillow. Finally, tomorrow I'd get to go back to being normal.

***********

I woke up early and thought it would be nice to make Jesse breakfast as a bit of a make up for being so distant. I cooked her food and left it on the counter with a sticky note that had a smile. After I scarfed down my food I went upstairs and started to prepare for the day ahead. First, I put a fresh set of film in my polaroid and a fresh sketch pad in my bag. I didn't have any reason to dress flashy so I just put on a pair of jeans and a comfortable tank top with a grey zip up hoodie along with my usual yellow converse. I pulled my hair back in a braid and fixed my make up to look natural. 

Staring in the mirror, I examined myself while I set my mind in place. This was it. Back to my old ways. The same old routine. It's what's best for me, right? It is the safe choice so it must be the right choice. I grabbed my bag and headed down the stairs to the front door.

"Jesse, I'm going out for a bit!" I yelled before closing the door behind me. I walked down the street with my head down. My camera stayed in my left hand, ready to aim at the right moment. I passed a few blocks and got to the park, where I decided to take a seat on one of the benches. I'd stolen a few candid shots of people that I found interesting. It felt right to be back in the old swing of things. It was peaceful, calm and stress free until...