Book excerpts

High School depression

I looked around the crowded room . Most of the seniors grinded eachother or sipped alcohol out of the red solo cups. I remained silent, overlooking the party in front of me, mostly trying to recall why I had came here in the first place. Oh wait, it was Jason... It's not the first time he has gotten me in situations like this and I doubt it will be the last. I take a few minutes, remembering his excuse.

*Flashback*

I let the warm water roll off my skin, soothing the wounds on my body and numbing my senses. I can't remember a time when showers had no effect. I twisted the knob and the water gradually stopped flowing out of the faucet. I slid open the shower curtain and grabbed my towel. I rubbed the soft towel against my skin as I took a step out of the shower. Once my skin was dry I pulled on my under-garments along with a pair of pink shorts and a blue tank-top. I used the corner of my towel to wipe the steam off the mirror. I took the elastic off of my wrist and tied my hair into a pony tail. As I was tying my hair my wrist passed in front of my eyes and I saw one of my regrets... those scars. The scars used to fuel hate... anger... but now as I looked at the slashes on m wrist I felt nothing but disgust. It had been three months since the last time I had cut... I couldn't remember what had pushed me to cut, all I remembered of that sunday afternoon was pain. I sighed deeply and left the bathroom.

I walked over to my bed, taking a seat. I shivered a bit before realising that the cold weather outside was affecting my body heat and mood... the chill that ran up my spine made me feel lonely. Today had been a very bad day. It seemed that everywhere I went caused me to rememer my foolish actions, taking place over the last few years.

I took a glance out of my bedroom window and the bad memories came rushing in...

My window overlooked a small pond which, during Summer, would be surrounded by wild flowers. Although many people would enjoy the view, to me it only brought memories of despair... A few years ago, while my parents had been absent because of buisness trip, I had tried to drown myself in the pond. I was loosing conciousness by the time my twin, Jason, walked around the yard calling my name. I surrenderedmy attempt of suicide and climbed out of the pond... I hadn't wanted Jason to learn the sad truth: his sister suffered from depression and would do just about anything to end the pain. I remeber him questionning me about the reason that my clothes and hair were soaked and full of dirt. I simply awnsered: "I was trying to catch a tadpole. He was a rebel, kept swimming out of my grasp so, finally, I just decided to jump after him and into the pond. He chuckled and went back to the house. I had delayed a few seconds before following. When my parents had returned from their trip, Jason had told them about how I had willingly jumped into the pond in attempt to capture the stray rebellious tadpole.

I sighed and went to my closet. I pulled out a hoodie and slipped it on. 

(Not done... I'll work on it later)