◈Something That We're Not◈

◈Crooked Smile◈

Someone once said that a person who focuses on negatives can never or will never find a true positive. I actually find that a contradiction. I mean everyone has plenty of negatives. Yet there's always that positive that shows us there need not be a negative.

After class, I took in the lesson of the day. The lesson was fear. Like stated before One greatest fear is fear itself.  We run from anything that can make us better but we depend on those things that weigh us down. Same thing we do with negatives and positives. I usually don't pay too much attention to my professor seeing as though he can be a bit of a jack ass. But today was different the jack ass spoke truth. My greatest fear is acceptance. I'm scared to be accepted by society. If I am accepted I might loose my sobriety of being me. Being who I am and not fitting in. It's a crazy insane fear yet a true one as Well. Most fear of not being accepted, Just don't count me as one. 

I hate leaving school sometimes because I have nothing to go home to. Just homework.  I know most college students make the 'college life' look so luxurious. Well it's not, Not even close. I walk to my front door looking around for that cat. He's my only companion and if feeding him keeps him by my side then so be it. I look around the front yard. Jerry!, I sigh when he doesn't appear. even the cat doesn't. want to be around me, I start struggling with my key to get. Come on stupid key!, Ugh!, I say aloud snatching the key out of the hole. I stare at it for awhile. Yeah devising a plan while frustrated isn't the best thing to do. I kick the door in defeat and began to take this time to go grocery shopping. Sadly I have to walk about two blocks to get to the local grocery.  I sigh and start on the path. One thing I hate about having to walk places is the fact I have to pass the homeless shelter. I hate seeing the place it turns my stomach. Knowing that people, Real people have to live in a run down building with barely enough space for them. Not to mention the fact that the dang so-called shelter has had so many reports on sexual or physical abuse. I wish I could do something for those people. I just pray about it and put it in God's hand that he help those people.

After a quick five minute walk up and down the endless isles, I finally get what I need and headed to checkout. "Your total today will be $56.90 sir ", said the overly perky brunette. I give her a small smile and payed for my groceries. She hand's me my receipt. "Have a nice day! ", I just nod and rolled my kart out of there. once outside I struggled (which is my usual thing ) to get my bags all on both of my arm's.  epic fail. I soon drop my bag of bread and cheese.  I curse myself as I began to pick it up. "Need help with that? ", said a soft voice, that of a woman or girl .  I didn't dare look up. I just nodded. She bends and picks up my bag and hands it to me. I slowly reach for it making sure not to touch her. It's not her it's me. Th-thankyou, I said still not looking up. "You're welcome! ", She said happily. there was silence before she finally decided to walk away. once she left my front view I turned to see who this girl was. I turn only to meet eye's with her. "Sorry I can't let you carry this yourself here I can help you ", She said with her light cocoa face  framing her beautiful yet crooked smile. No no it's ok, She looks unpleased by my disapproval for help. "Oh, Well I'm sorry to be a bother ", I just smile. This conversation is a bit much for me.  Again awkward silence. "Well I'll let you go", I nod again (my go to reaction ). She smiles awkwardly then slowly turned away. I mirror her action. As I walk off I find chances to take a few more glances at the girl. Michael you made a fool of yourself!  Just forget about it!, I sigh agreeing with myself.

Once I'm home I again struggle with the key until my landlord finally came to help me. Yeah he helped all right fifty dollars gone. I put up the groceries and whipped up a quick meal. while eating I couldn't stop thinking about the grocery incident.  I mean I didn't know people like that existed still. Like helping me when I clearly needed help. The more I thought about it the more angrier I got. I was unreasonably rude. All she wanted to do was help. I sigh again and finished my salad. I led myself to the shower just before allowing my body some well deserved full rest....

To Be Continued.....

A/N:

Forgive me for long awaited update! I didn't want to start writing on this story yet, But I like it and so do you which makes me super duper happy! I've also been busy a lot but bare with me with slow updates hope you guys don't mind just Comment and vote please and thank-you!