Keeping Us Apart

Set Me Free (13)

*Ahren's POV*

The rest of the party pales in comparison to the first half, and I spend it hiding in my room. At first, despite what happened, I was determined to have a great time despite what happened, but the more that Hudson avoided me like the plague and the more awkward looks I got from Joel the more I wanted to disappear. So that's exactly what I did. I try to think up ways I can make right everything that's gone so terribly wrong, including tonight and these past few weeks as well. But I draw blanks. For once there's no possible steps that I can take to erase the damage done. Normally I never fuck up this bad, but for some reason whenever it comes to Hudson that's all I seem to do. 

I exhale a big sigh and flop backwards onto my bed. The sheets still smell like her, and I find myself turning my face into the scent. I take a few deep breaths, hoping it will clear my head, but instead I just feel even more confused. God Hudson, what the hell are you doing to me?

*Hudson's POV*

Throughout the first hour after the big show with Maura and Ahren, Ahren tries to continue like before, bringing me drinks and keeping a joint in my hand. But after I don't speak to him for the millionth time I watch him slink back to his room and shut the door behind him. Relief washes over me, but I feel a wave of sadness that's almost as potent as the relief. Even though he did what he did, I can't deny that I still have feelings for him. Joel must notice because he doesn't bring up the night's events. Instead, he just keeps me busy, until after everyone has finally cleared out.

"Hudson," he begins as soon as the last stragglers have seen themselves out. "I know you're hurt. You can hide it from everyone else but me."

Forcing myself to look up at my brother, I lift my shoulders into a shrug, not knowing if hurt encompasses half of the tide of emotions I'm feeling right now. "Hurt, angry, idiotic, take your pick," I finally say, teeth clamping down on my bottom lip hard to keep the tears at bay.

He doesn't say anything as we clean up what we can, putting away the chips and drinks and moving the furniture back to its original spots. Finally, after we've both collapsed onto the couch, Joel speaks. "Come here," he says as he opens his arms. I scoot closer and his arms settle around me, warm and comforting, and the moment they do the tears pour out. I always try my hardest not to cry in front of others but tonight I just can't help it. "I really don't want to say I told you so, but this is honestly why I was so hesitant about there being any type of feelings beyond friendship between you two," Joel says once I've calmed down a little. "I've seen his relationships with women and I just didn't want anything to happen to you. Ahren isn't a bad guy, but he doesn't always make the right choices. Although I seriously doubt he purposely meant to hurt anybody's feelings."

"Joel, are you trying to cheer me up or are you just going to defend your friend?" My words are mostly playful, but it does kind of seem like he is defending Ahren's dumb decisions. 

"Both, I suppose, because I love both of you. Don't get me wrong Hudson. What he did wasn't nice or fair to you. I just want you to understand that he cares a lot about you, despite what happened. Like I said, in the years I've known him he's never harbored any bad intentions."

"Really? You think he cares about me?" I brush my tears away with the backs of my hands and look up at Joel curiously.

"Duh! I can tell just from the way he looks at you," Joel replies with a shrug. I try to wrap my head around my brother's words; On one hand they make sense, but on the other Ahren kind of knew the dangerous game he was playing. "It's okay, I'm not expecting you to get over it that quickly, or maybe even at all, but in the meantime do you want to order in and rent a movie?" Joel gives me a grin and nudges my arm.