My last hope

words he never said

i began my decent down the winding staircase , all eyes on me. there were a few gasps and aww but i hardly herd them i was looking for that one face the one that could always make my day even when i thout it to be lost.

" my dear you look stunning !" my nanny gushed as i made my way throu the crowd .

" thanks nana. have you seen jj?"

" no i havent dear, why do you ask?"

"oh, no reason just wondering were my best friend is."

Befor she could utter another word i made a dash between two girls from my leavl. ' were is he its my flipping birthday , one of the most important events of my life and my best friend is a no show?,not to mention the wierd way he acted in my chambers before. oh my what if something happend to him? what if he was giveing me a cry for help and i was to dunce to notice it?! what if...'

befor my brain really began to ramble a strong hand gently yet firmly grabed my arm and pulled me throu the abandend garden arch that we no longer used.

" escuss me sir! but who do you thin...! jj!" i ran into the arms of my stupid best friends and being the emotionel mess i am i began to cry.

" what is wrong with you ! i thout something might of happend to you jj"

he dident say a word but just held me caressing my hair until i was calm, he always had this effect on me i only felt safe when i was in his embrace breathing in his deep woodsie sent, julians sent.

" im sorry hun if i worried you, i just had to think about a few things is all"

Even the sound of his voice calms me, julian is like my air i dont know what i would off done with out him when my parnts died. and to think only 6 short years ago jj as my sworn enemy.

flash back.

" julian ! you jerkoff, give me my doll back or im telling nana!"

"you have to cech me first!" 12 yearold jj called waveing my faveriet doll mags.

" just wait untill i get my wings you will be sorry then!"

i began to run as fast a i could barrly looking were i was going thinking that he would be far away with his longer then life legs. i was surprised when i ran into his dead still back curiouse i looked up into his grife stricken face, i pered aroung his body and saw what wa causeing the jerk so much sadness. and then i saw them, the bershes. they only ever made visits when some one has died, they were the barrior of bad news.

I began to run towards the door to see who was it. was it someone i loved ? of course it was ! i love everyone in the palace even the staff were like my extended family, but the know it all son of the stable hand grabed my arm and held me close againct my will as i kicked and screamed begging to know who it was, whos face whould i never see smile agian ? whos laugh whould i never hear ring throu the halls of my home.

I ripped myself out of his grip and ran towards my nana who was bent over crying the look of pain on her face and the pitty on the bershes told me everything. my parents werent coming home tonight.

that night i layed awake crying in my bed wich now seamed very lage and empty, when i felt someone clim under the covers beside me . i turn to see the tear streaked face of the boy i was supost to hate.

" why are you crying? you hardly knew my parents" my voice choked up at th last word.

" because seeing you so upset breaks my heart, i miss your smile and i swear that i will do all i can to see you smile agian, maby not now or tomorrow but soon"

i flipped over and cuddled into his right side and thats were i stayed all night safe in his protecting embrace and thats were ive been ever since almost everynight he would sneak into my room and id fall asleep in his arms, and little by little the boy i use to hate turned into a young man.

preasent

i broke away from him , just enough so that i could look into his eyes but when i reached them they had that serious look agian, the one tha i could not name.

" julian , seriously whats wrong?" i wisperd into the night.

he placed his finger under my chin and looked into my eyes and said

" nothing, everything i dont know" at that last one he droped my chin and looked over his shoulder i grabed his face with both my hands and looked deep into my faveriout coulor of green.

" youre scareing me, what ever is wrong you can tell me and i will do what ever it takes to make it right agian".

He ripped out of my hands and stalked over to the bench.

" dammit cilla! why must you do that!"

" do what?"

" act like you care for me!"

" but i do care for you?!"

" not the way i wish."

taken back i stumble and wach as he sits down with his hands in his hair. after a few moments he looks up at me

" so now you know that words that i never dared to say."

i stood there, willing the tears not to fall, but a few escaped. he ran over and began to wipe them away saying things that i dident understand but fineall the words "... forget i said anything" broke throu to my sub conchience.

"forget? what if i dont want to forget?"

A/N -

cliffhanger !mwahah i know only 2 people have read this so far and if you saved it to ur library ur my new faveriout people ever ! tell ur friends :) oh and sorry for any spelling mistake or anything im going to try and find a editer enybody intereted? ;)