My Best Friend, The Sex God

05

Jenny is pretty much the reason why I've been eating lunch alone all week.

On Monday, she practically dragged Nate to their table. He was already seated at our table at that time. Then on Tuesday, she dragged him while he was halfway to our table. The next day, she dragged him from the cafeteria door. And the day after that, he walked over there automatically, with a big grin on his face. Like how he used to walk to our table. Like he's been sitting at that table ever since the start of the school year.

Like our table doesn't even exist.

He didn't even spare me a single glance or said sorry for leaving me to sit alone.

Do you know that feeling you get when you've waited for something for so long and you think,  finally, it's almost here and then something just grabs it and takes it away? That's exactly how it felt having Nate walk over to and sit down and eat at a different table.

Today, however, is a Saturday. So I don't have to think about that today. Jake is coming over to practice for our presentation. We (he) decided that I'm okay with Romeo and Juliet after all.

And right on cue, the doorbell rang.

"You're late," I said when I opened the door.

"Sorry." Jake put both his hands up in surrender. "Jenny was making my life hell."

"Whatever, just-" My eyes widened as a particular name lit up a bulb in my head. "Jenny? You mean Nate's new girlfriend Jenny?

"Yeah. She's also my sister Jenny," Jake said, scrunching his nose in disgust. "I'm gonna throw up."

"Well, you're not the only one," I murmured but it was loud enough for him not to miss.

"Why?" Jake asked. "What do you have against them?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. "Nate really likes her... and that's good, trust me. But I don't know, he just... I don't know."

"You miss him," he said and my face immediately turned into a slight red shade. Jake laughed.

"What?" I huffed, crossing my arms. "Missing your best friend is normal."

"Okay. Best friend. Sure. Whatever you say."

"That's enough. Time to practice." 


*****


Laying on my bed, awake, at two o'clock in the morning made me really sad. Somehow, the stillness of the night (well, morning) was proving to be unrelaxing and full of silent restlessness. I waited for myself to fall asleep but it just wouldn't happen. I looked around and it felt like the darkness was swallowing me.

Jake was wrong.

I didn't miss Nate at all.

If he's perfectly fine ignoring me for a full week then he has absolutely no right to be missed.

I didn't miss him.

I didn't.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed and it surprised me a bit. I reached out to my phone, frowning when I saw that I got a text from the unmissed boy himself.

Nate [2:21am] : hey are you awake ??

I sighed, contemplating whether I should reply or not. I didn't exactly feel like we were on good terms even though we didn't fight. But I hate it when he ignores me because I always get this feeling that he'll keep going further until I can't keep up anymore and he has to leave me behind. And trust me, that feeling fucking hurts. A lot.

Nate [2:29am] : pls wake up i cant do this alone

In the end, I decided to reply.

Allison [2:32am] : I'm here

Nate [2:33am] : shit i didnt think youd actually wake up shit im sorry allison you should go back to sleep sorry

Allison [2:33am] : Calm down

Allison [2:34am] : You didn't wake me up

Nate [2:34am] : i know you allison youre not a 2am kind of person

Nate [2:40am] : allison ?

Allison [2:42am] : I've been a 2am kind of person since Monday. Guess you just don't know me that well anymore

Nate [2:43am] : whats that supossed to mean

Nate [2:43am] : *supposed

Allison [2:45am] : Forget it

Nate [2:45am] : no tell me

Allison [2:45am] : No

Allison [2:46am] : Why did you text me?

Nate [2:47am] : i just.. 

Allison [2:47am] : What

Nate [2:49am] : its october 12

Allison [2:49am] : Oh my god, Nate I

Allison [2:50am] : Do you want to come over?

Allison [2:52am] : If it will make you feel better

Allison [2:55am] : Or not. It's up to you

Nate [3:11am] : im outside

I immediately rushed out of bed, tripping on my blanket of course, because I'm me. But I didn't even mind. All I could think about was Nate and October 12 and he needs me, he needs me, he needs me. He needs me. 

When I saw his face, my heart shattered. I hadn't even realized what date it was. I felt like such an awful friend. The dim light emanating from the post near the house hit his face perfectly. He looked like a mess. Like he hasn't slept for days. Like he was waiting for this day to come. Preparing, just so he could get it over with easily. But failing miserably. We both knew he wasn't strong enough for this.

And to think that just a while ago I was just telling myself that I didn't miss him when he needed me the most.

Raise your hand if you're the worst best friend ever. Because I'm definitely raising my hand.

He ran up to me and hugged me. He didn't say anything at all and we stayed like that for a few minutes until he pulled back and covered his face with his hands.

"I'm sorry, Allison," Nate said. "I thought I could do this but I can't."

"It's okay," I told him, leading him into the house and up to my room. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I can't believe it slipped my mind. I should have been there for you."

"No." He shook his head. "I wanted it to be this way. I didn't want you to have to take care of my fucked up side all over again. I tried so hard to distract myself. I thought Jenny was helping me forget but when midnight came... I just lost it."

"Nate, I'm your best friend," I said. Looking at him made me want to cry. He looked like he wanted to shed a few tears, too, but he also looked so drained. Like year after year of crying on the 12th of October, he just arrived at the point where he just can't anymore. "It's my job to take care of you. Fucked up or not."

In every story, there's always a secret. And this was ours. He would be the protagonist and I would be the sidekick. And what's a protagonist without a backstory? 

Twelfth of October, the year two thousand and four.

The day that changed everything.

The day Max died.

 *

So, I finally updated

I'm sorry I lied to you guys

I'm never forgiving myself for it

I thought I was going to be free but my schedule suddenly changed and I was busy all over again and I had to put this aside but I'm back now

And no more promises that updates will be constant and on a specific day because we all know how that turned out the last time

But

BUT

I will update. This, I promise

sorry btw if this is short and ends with a cliffhanger and oh my gosh this turned dramatic way too quick didn't it

don't worry the drama part will go by like a quick chilly breeze on a hot summer day

Because something will happen (and no, I'm not spoiling)

comment/vote. 

-bubbiruthless