Laura P.O.V.
Mum's birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I have a perfect gift for her. I go to the store down the street and pick up some baby clothes. When I get home I stash the clothes in my bedroom closet. When I am done my phone rings. I pick it up and see it is doctor Russell. "hello?" I say feeling immediately nervous. "Hi Laura I'm going to need you to come in for an ultrasound today if you can." I can feel myself sweating I'm so nervous. "Okay I'll be in around noon." I tell her. "Okay Laura see you then." the doctor then hangs up. I feel myself getting light headed. I sit on the sofa and text Tom. "Hey I have to go in for a last minute ultrasound if you want to go I'm going in at twelve." "Okay I'll meet you there." he says. I can tell he is nervous. A little while later I am driving to the doctor's office and my stomach is in knots. When I arrive at the office I meet Tom out front. We walk in and I check in and we wait anxiously. While we are waiting I look at Tom and say "Why do I have a feeling this won't go well?" Tom takes my hand and says "Just relax it'll be fine." he then kisses my head. I lay my head on his shoulder praying until I am called. The doctor leads us to an examine room a little while later. While we are waiting Tom says "What do you think of the name Remus for a boy?" "Remus John." I say hoping Tom will catch on. He rolls his eyes at my suggestion and says "Maybe." as he smirks. The doctor comes in a few minutes later. "Hello Laura, Tom." "Laura how are you feeling?" she asks. "Okay just nervous." I answer. Tom takes my hand in his and lightly squeezes it. I lay back on the table and Dr. Russell puts the gel on my abdomen and presses the probe against my stomach. I look at Tom and he kisses the back of my hand. I look at doctor Russell and can see she is looking worried. "I'm having trouble getting a reading for the baby." she says sounding concerned. I feel myself squeezing Tom's hand hoping I don't cry. Dr. Russell tries for another few minutes to find the baby but I can tell she is having no luck. "I'm sorry Laura I'm not finding a heartbeat." she says. I can tell she is disappointed. "It's okay it's not your fault." I say feeling tears going down my face. Tom and I leave the office and he heads back to work. I head home defeated and make sure the baby clothes are hidden in the back of the closet so we can't see them. I start to think that maybe Tom and I having a baby of our own will never happen. I try not to think about it as I take care of my other beautiful children but something doesn't feel right. I don't know if its my depression from losing another baby but I just feel like this will never happen for us.
Mum comes home a little while later and I know she can tell that something is wrong. "Laura what's wrong sweetheart?" "Nothing." I say trying to lie and trying to avoid the subject. I know mum just wants to help but honestly it is just too painful to talk about. "Laura?" mum asks being gentle yet firm. I know at this point I have to come clean otherwise she won't drop it until I give in and tell her. "It's just I had to go to the doctors a few weeks ago she told me I was pregnant again, but I went in today for an ultrasound and she couldn't find a heartbeat again. I feel bad for disappointing Tom again but now I've just given up hope that us having a baby of our own will ever happen." I say feeling tears sliding down my face. I can feel Brieanna and Dylan both hugging me trying to make me feel better and it does sort of help. Don't get me wrong I know I should be thankful for the beautiful children I have and I am but I know Tom has always wanted children and I feel awful that it is the one thing he wants that I can't give him. "Sweetheart I'm so sorry I had no idea." "I bought clothes to surprise you for your birthday but I had to hide them so I wouldn't think about it." I say tears still sliding down my face. Mum wraps me in a hug trying to comfort me but unfortunately it does very little to help. "I'm going to lay down." I say getting up out of mum's embrace. I walk upstairs to my bedroom and lay on the bed and cry.
Tom P.O.V.
I'm at work when I get a text from Laura. "Hey I have to go in for a last minute ultrasound if you want to go I'm going in at twelve." "Okay I'll meet you there." I reply. I can feel myself getting nervous. A little while later I am driving to the doctor's office and my stomach is in knots. When I arrive at the office I meet Laura out front. We walk in and she checks in and we wait anxiously. While we are waiting Laura looks at me and says "Why do I have a feeling this won't go well?" I take her hand and say "Just relax it'll be fine." I then kiss her head. She lays her head on my shoulder praying until she is called. The doctor leads us to an examine room a little while later. While we are waiting I say "What do you think of the name Remus for a boy?" "Remus John." Laura says. I catch on right away as to what she is thinking and I roll my eyes at her suggestion and say "Maybe." as I smirk. The doctor comes in a few minutes later. "Hello Laura, Tom." "Laura how are you feeling?" she asks. "Okay just nervous." she answers. I take her hand in mine and lightly squeeze it. She lies back on the table and Dr. Russell puts the gel on her abdomen and presses the probe against her stomach. She looks at me and I kiss the back of her hand. We look at doctor Russell and can see she is looking worried. "I'm having trouble getting a reading for the baby." she says sounding concerned. I feel Laura squeezing my hand and I can tell she is trying not to cry. Dr. Rusell tries for another few minutes to find the baby but I can tell she is having no luck. "I'm sorry Laura I'm not finding a heartbeat." she says. I can tell she is disappointed. "It's okay it's not your fault." Laura says tears going down her face. Laura and I leave the office and I heads back to work disappointed, I don't know why this keeps happening but I wish there was something I could do to make Laura feel better. She always feels like a failure when this happens. This is the one thing Laura and I have wanted since we got married. "Maybe it's time you accept it won't happen for us." I think to myself trying to focus on work but I find myself having immense difficulty. When I am done for the day I decide to try to make Laura feel better so I stop by a local florist and buy her some flowers. When I get home I hug the kids and Dylan says "Mum is sad mum was crying." "Really?" I ask him although I am not shocked. "Yes mum told grandma that baby won't come home." I know he means that Laura lost the baby and I can see a look of disappointment in his eyes and a tear is sliding down Brieanna's face. "Let's see if we can cheer mum up." I say. The kids follow me upstairs to our bedroom and I see Laura laying on the bed and I can hear her crying. The kids walk over to the bed and climb up and cuddle up against their mum but she just cries harder. I can't imagine what this is doing to Laura and I can only imagine how much blame she is putting on herself for this. I walk over to the bed and kiss her. She looks up at me with a tear stained face and I hand her the flowers, but she just looks away from me. "Come on guys lets leave mum to rest." I say leading the kids out of our room. I kiss Laura one more time before walking out of the room with the kids and closing the door.
