Reality or Fantasy?

Chapter 3: Red, Black and White.

Sunday 29th December 2013

 

It has been a 9 days since I have had the test voice, and I haven't been the same since. I wake up in this room, its black and nothing happens apart from hearing people scream and shout peoples names. I had no clue who they were, or why they were here. In fact, I had no idea why I was there either. I don't understand anymore. My shrink says it is just a phase, and the reason for it is just stress. I didn't tell her about the test speech though, I thought I better keep it to myself. Winter my best friend, he thought that it was something supernatural and I should see a specialist if it continues. What profession deals with test voices and bloody messed up dreams! I was confused and I didn't understand anything anymore, nothing made sense. I was slowly but surely loosing my mind and I had no idea how to stop it. I have tried to come up with every rational explanation and there aren't any. I am so scared of the outcome of all of this. I am nothing special! My parents couldn't and will not know of this, they will just judge me again and tell me to grow up. They judged me on almost everything. If my grades aren't A*, they feel like I have failed my entire life, or if I ate too much that I'd end up fat. They controlled everything, and always picked up on little things that I'd do wrong: pick holes in me and act like I'm not angry. I have only got angry once, and I almost ended up in hospital. I decided it would be a good idea to pour boiling water over my hands, otherwise I would've hurt someone. That was when I was 9 though; I 've matured since. I've never had a strong relationship with my parents, I don't think I ever will. After all, I was the difficult and mental one.

Last nights dream was different though, someone came into my room for a second then shut the door again. It was a man with red eyes, black hair and white skin. I can't really remmeber anything else, the light almost burned my eyes out from the light of what must been another room or corridor. He was in my dreams. Who was he? I kind of wanted to hug him or just speak to him just to comfort myself in knowing  that I am not alone. Ever since this started I have been alone. I walk in crowds and I feel so lonely. Since the 20th December I have not been myself. I feel so empty. I eat and nothing seems to satasify the hunger, the same is with drinking.

I went to Winters house at 4pm, it was getting dark and I texted my parents when I got to the rusty porch. They seemed to dissaprove of him, they thought he was a boyfriend, and my parents are never going to be okay with me having a boyfriend till I am 18 or never. They chose my brother over me all the time, and undermined me so much that it was no wonder that I was insane! I knocked at the door and heard Winters cat already scratching at the door. WInters cat was called Sparks, he had a emotional attatchment to me. It was rather strange, it seemed to know when I wa coming and follow me around like a lost puppy. Wait, thats a pun. Winter opened the door quickly and hugged me. 'Hey' he said muffled, as his head was burrowed in my shoulder. I was 5'7 and he was 5'8 so it was rather comfortable. He grabbed my hand and took me straight up the stairs, to his hub aka. bedrooom, whilst being followed by a angry black cat. I sat on his black bed and Winter sat next to me. he knew what to do, he kissed me on the cheek. He always did that, it made me happy. Spark sat on my lap as i glared at Winter, he scowled and looked at me. 'Something is wrong, I can tell' he whispered. I hated that part about him, no matter how hard I tried to hide it, he knew me like a open book. 'Tell me.' he ordered softly. I cleared my throat and looked at Spark who's green eyes were glaring at me, waiting to start my story. 'It's the dreams, I can't control them. I don't understand anything. I am so tired and fed up. I cannot concentrate. I feel so alone Winter. The screaming has got louder. I am going insane!' I finished and saw him glaring at me with the most serious face I have ever seen Winter pull, it uneased me. He put his hand ontop of mine and looked right at me. 'Just remember it's only a dream, Emery. Honestly you'll be fine, it will pass soon. Concentrate on clearing your mind before you put your head down. Don't think about it.' he replied. 'Easier said then done' I muttered. 'Yes, but you need sleep, otherwise you start hallucinating. If this continues after 3 more days we will go to a spealist, or Aunt Alexis'. Aunt Alexis is a tarrot reader, a fire witch and some sort of spiritualist. None of those things I believed in but existed anyway. I wasn't against them but was concerned to the con of some. 'Look Emery, you need sleep, you can stay here for the night if you want? I am concerned so you can stay here actually, I don't care what your parents say. Just relax I am right here' he ordered whilst taking off my shoes, and walking around the room to shut his curtains. Spark jumped off from my lap, and went to the bottom of the bed. It was more or less pitch black in his room. I looked at the small alarm clock that was emitting a red hue, from the small numbers, the time was only 4:37p.m, but I was tired.  I got in his covers but kept my eyes open, I felt winter get in behind me and hug me. Spark sat on my feet, and I snuggled deeper into Winters bed. 'Sleep, you need it' Winter said. 'You don't understand Winter, there was one thing I needed and I needed it fast. I need answers and I need them now' I thought. A few minutes later,I heard Winters breathing get calmer, and I felt his arm around my waist get loose. I felt safe so I decided to close my eyes. I few thoughts hurried themselves into my mind, but I followed Winters advice and cleared my head. Then sleep took over.

Again, I woke in the dark room. Alone, cold and desperate. I just sat there thinking to myself how stupid i was, following Winters advice did nothing. I need to get out, so i tried to sprint to the door. I feel on my face in one stride. The floor was drenched in smears of blood, and my foot was chained! The cuff had wedged itself in my ankles flesh, due to the sudden movement. It left a massive cut drawn down my bare foot. I squealed and sat back down in my corner. I screamed and shouted and banged on the wall. But I knew my screams were silenced by the people either side of me. No one was gonna hear me, see me or save me. 'Someone must of been in the room whilst I was awake in reality.' I thought. This means that my body is still unconscious here, whilst I am at home. Someone had moved me from the bed to the other side of the room, how? The movement should of woken me up...but this isn't real. My mind was getting so messed up by this, I'm so confused. I needed that 'test' voice guy to come back. But most of all, I needed to get out.

I gathered my thoughts, as Winter suggested, and decided to just scream and scream, I desperately. needed answers. The smell was like a slaughter house, but i could smell chocolate. The smell was so strong, I could taste it. A mix of being famished and wanting to throw up. I needed to wash, my hands were wet from the Luke warm blood on the tiled floor. The heat of the room was uncomfortable, the humidity was so thick i could barely breathe. You could cut it into slices. The oxygen levels were low, I could tell as i became suddenly became dizzy. Panic struck. I needed to get out. otherwise i was gonna die.

'HELP! HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE! I CANT BREATE!' I shrieked. I took another huge intake of air that seemed to burn my lungs. 'SOMEONE HELP ME I'M GONNA DIE!' I collapsed back in the corner. Everything was becoming blacker. My hands went numb. Sniggering could be heard outside my room. 'Thank God, I finally am getting out' I hoped. The door was being unlocked by a key. I shuffled back further into the corner and tried to remain conscious. It opened and a red hue of light entered the room. I opened my eye slightly and saw the corridor, the walls were blood red. however a black figure was standing in the door way. 'Now that was a loud noise wasn't it, come now' it was a mans voice with a foreign accent. It was not that 'test' man I'd hoped for. A part of me said the complete opposite. I looked up and saw his pale face with black hair. With devilish a grin, that showed part of his rotting teeth. It was the man I saw before. But, I was fading. Loosing the battle. His piercing red eyes, watched me fall to the hard welcoming floor.