– 17-MAY-2008 Fort Huachuca, Arizona –
Just as the marching cadence goes, "Same old shit again" indeed. And now here I am marching my own Soldiers off to one of several pre-deployment briefings being held today. Most of it's just the usual mandatory stuff, most of it involves what to do in combat situations we might not actually get to see, thank God. Our unit is comprised of mostly Signal geeks and I.T guys, at least a third of them are fresh out of A.I.T themselves and they're pretty easy to pick out of the crowd: They all have this terrified look on their face like they think they're about to die as soon as they get off the plane, and I have to laugh because that's exactly how I felt right before my first deployment to Iraq. I feel bad for most of them, T.R.A.D.O.C fills their heads with all kinds of bullshit about kicking down doors and pretty much duct-taping their buddies back together while they're screaming for Mommy. It's mostly intended to remind them that while they're being trained in a technical capacity, they're still Soldiers in the United States Army and very well may wind up in combat nevertheless. I understand why they do it, but they rattle off about it so much to these kids that it almost becomes counter-productive: Instead of learning how to just do their damn jobs, they lose sleep over nightmares about explosions and gore.
I remember being that scared before my first trip to the Sand-Box, now as an NCO myself it's my job to set them straight well before this one officially kicks off. This will be my second trip to Iraq, for most of these guys it'll be their first. Hell, for a few of the senior members of leadership and Command, this will be their second or third. Serves 'em right for voting Republican, but of course, it's not like I'm going to be caught saying that out loud. These scared kids are having a Hell of a time with a very simple cadence that they should damn well know from day one, a few of them are too scared to even open their mouths. They just march, lost in their own minds. And I'm fine with this, so long as they hear me order Mark-Time and Halt when we arrive.
I've got my own shit to do, I'm only leading these guys to their briefings because I had to fill in for Sergeant First Class Parvis when he showed up drunk again. This isn't anything new for him, sadly. If he weren't such a sadistic, sexist piece of shit I just might consider feeling bad for the guy because he has such severe PTSD, but after the last time he staggered past me and asked if my "carpet matched the drapes," he's damn lucky I left the building when I did. Parvis is one of those senior NCOs who really shouldn't be wearing the uniform anymore. Sure, I made my complaints and reports, just like policy tells us to, but it almost never amounts to anything. The best I can really do is try to stay the Hell away from him.
He made a complete inebriated ass of himself in from of the entire Company this morning though, and this was a rare performance indeed coming from him: Instead of the usual nasty remarks and barely intelligible swearing, I could swear I heard him choke on a string of desperate apologizing and frantic groveling for forgiveness from every Soldier standing in formation. There were a few audible snickers, I tried not to laugh at him myself, Parvis is known within the whole unit for his completely non-sober tirades about this-that-and-everything. They almost always end with the usual screaming at all of us over one person's mistake, his way of mass punishment over trivial stuff as a way of asserting power over the rest of us knowing full well he barely had any real power of his own. Gee, I wonder why... This time was a bit of a spectacle, sure. I grew up with alcoholic relatives, the public sobbing and endless train of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I swear I'll change blah blah blah" has long since lost it's effect on me, but now I can only stand by and watch.
This is the end for SFC Parvis, finally. Command can't cover for him anymore after this and they know it, at least I hope so. He did his time in Iraq just like I did, and it broke him. It happens, that's what war does to people. The ones with any brain cells in their skulls go talk to a shrink or a chaplain, Parvis came home and went balls-deep into a bottle. No more family, no more friends, just drinking buddies and an undeserved rank-patch that's been begging to be torn off his faded uniform ever since. Eventually, two other NCOs "escorted" him behind the back parking lot to our Commanding Officer, there were a few awkward murmurs from the Company but nothing out of control. Parvis was still losing his shit, all I could make out was some frightened gibberish over finding a weird little photo inside his truck after the Flag went down yesterday.
