Compilation of Short Stories

Trans Secret

I'm not sure with the title.. if you guys don't like it... I'm open for your suggestions xD Thanks and God Bless (:

Special Thanks:

KASOY, LAVENDER :p, Juan, and PALOMA PRETTY <3

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"I'm a transwoman" I said shakingly, tears run down my cheeks. He stiffened and thought for a moment and just like any other man I loved he walked away.

Been there, done that I don't wanna feel that again. I promised myself that I won't tell my darkest secret to my next lover. I never want to be left behind. I don't want them to moved on with their lives while I'm still struggling to stand on my own.

For years of searching for my Mr. Right, I finally found Alex. Sweet, loving and very understanding. He almost seemed like an illusion for being perfect. He's handsome, tall and smart. Every girls' dream, as they say. Among my exes, he's the one I hoped most that would love me dearly. I'm afraid that just like my exes, he'll walk away. I love him so and for loving him, I know I'll badly get hurt in the end, but I still want to risk. I'm sorry Alex, but I won't tell you about the real me so you won't leave me. I love you so much that I can't seem to let you go.

"Mary?" he snapped. I didn't notice I was just staring at him in deep thought while having our date.
"Did you hear m-me?" he cleared his throat.
"U-Uhm s-sorry. What did you say?" I ask. He chuckled.
"I was saying, my mom has been nagging me to bring you at our place. S-she wants to meet you" he stuttered.

"Oh" I shockingly replied. I looked at him in the eyes. I know this guy loves me dearly. He's serious of our relationship unlike my ex before. But I know if I told him the truth, he'll just be like them. He'll leave me like he never loved me.

I tried so hard to be loved. To be accepted. But still I feel worthless, unloved and easily forgotten. Why? This is what I feel. I'm gay. I'm in love with someone who have the same sex as I am. I even change my whole me just to be loved but then I never thought that is what would hurt me the most. The feeling that you were never loved by someone you loved or you badly thought he loves you, that he would still accept you for who you are?

"M-Mary? If you're not ready, i-it's okay"
"NO! I would love to Alex" I said excitedly.
He was surprised at my reaction. His smile was priceless.
I love you Alex.

"So uhm , S-Saturday?"
"Yeah sure. I just don't know how to face your mom. This is actually my first time. "

"W-what? R-Really?"
"Y-yes." I replied shyly.
"You're beautiful when you blush" he stares at me like forever.
"Don't worry my mom would love you. I'm sure of that" he adds.
"I love you Alex so much" I confessed. He smiled.
"Sometimes I wonder what great things I did in my past life to deserve someone as perfect as you. I love you more Mary"
God. This is bad. I so love him. I wonder if I'll ever love like this ever again. I did not notice a tear run down my cheeks. He immediately wipe it.
"H-hey please don't cry. I never want you to cry."
I sighed.
I want to tell him the truth but I can't. I feel like I'm going to die once he's going to leave me.
I hugged him tight and he hugged me back kissing my forehead.
"I love you Mary so much!" he said breaking the silence. I just hugged him so tight hoping that's true.

On Saturday, I finally met his parents. They are all very supportive with our relationship especially his Mom. His mom kept on asking things about me. Not bad for a first timer, I said to myself. I feel like I'll be part of their family pretty much soon. I hope Alex will marry me. God! I'll be the happiest gay in the universe. But I know this isn't right. I'm being selfish. But what should I do? Tell him and I'll be left again?
Alex was having fun with his nephews. He's so cute caressing each one of them. I then froze as I realized I can never give him one if ever in the future. He's so happy. I know like other man, he wished to have his own and I can't do that. I hold on my tears so he won't notice.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Ah yes! I just got dirt in my eyes"
"Oh let me blow it for you"
"Y-yes please" he looks so adorable trying to get my fake dirt in my eyes.
"There" then he leaned and kissed me on the lips.