Aparri x reader ~our love~

Two pt.2

     I loved all the colors – dark greens, baby blues, aquas, and whites. Julian and Mia brought them back for me in mason jars every summer. They lived silently on my bookshelf, like frozen pieces of the ocean I had never seen. 

"Come here," he whispered, his hand still stuck in my hair, (h/c) hair winding around his fingers.
"I still can't believe you made that," I said, not for the first time. "It's so – cool."
Julian looked down at the glass, his hair falling in front of his eyes.
"Maybe I'll give it to you," he said. "If you're lucky."
I smiled, my gaze fixed on the blue triangle. I was afraid to look at him, because if I let my eyes lock on his, he might try to – and then everything would be – and I might just –
"Happy birthday," he whispered, his breath landing warm and suddenly close to my lips, making my insides flip, and just as quickly as he'd surprised me with the cake, he kissed me, one frosting-covered hand moving from my hair to the back of my neck, the other solid and warm in the small of my back, pressing us together, my chest against his ribs, my hip bones just below his, the tops of our bare summer legs hot and touching. I stopped breathing. My eyes were closed and his mouth tasted like marzipan flowers and clove cigarettes, and in ten seconds the whole of my life was wrapped up in that one kiss, that one wish, that one secret that would forever divide my life into two parts.
Up, down. Happy, sad. Shock, awe. Before, after.
In that single moment, Matt, formerly known as friend, became something else entirely.
I kissed him back. I forgot time. I forgot my feet. I forgot the people outside, waiting for us to rejoin the party. I forgot what happens when friends cross into this space. And if my lungs didn't fill and my heart didn't beat and my blood didn't pump without my intervention, I would have forgotten about them, too.
I could have stayed like that all night, standing in front of the sink, Julian's black apple hair brushing my cheeks, heart thumping, lucky and forgetful...
"What's taking so long?" Mia asked, running up the deck stairs outside. "Come on, (Y/n).
Presents."
I pulled away from Julian just before she pressed her face against the screen to peek inside.
"Yeah, birthday girl," Julian mocked. "What's taking so long?"
"Be right out, Mia." I gave him my Don't You Dare face. "I just need to change."
"Can I come?" Julian whispered against my neck, causing a shiver. Or an earthquake.
I suddenly remembered all the baths we'd taken together as little kids, before we got old enough for it to be dangerous. The memories seemed different now. More vulnerable. Raw. My face went hot, and I had to look away.
"So?" Julian pinched my arm as Mia headed back to the picnic table.
"So you're lucky Mia didn't see that," I said, not sure I meant it. "And you have to go change your own shirt. In your own room. I mean, over–"
"Mmm-hmm." Julian grabbed my hand and pulled me in tight for another kiss, his other hand on my cheek, quick and intense. He pressed his body against mine in the same configuration of hip bones, stomachs, and ribs as the first time. I pressed back, wanting to wrap myself around him, anchor myself to him. It was all that kept me from floating away like a tiny, iridescent bubble.
"Do you think she saw us?" I asked when we finally stopped. "Nah." He laughed, still holding my hand. "Don't worry. It's our secret."
Alone in my bedroom, I shoved my frosting shirt into a plastic bag to deal with later. I rinsed my face and hair with cool water, but my legs wouldn't stop shaking and I couldn't catch my breath. The brain that was conspicuously absent for the kitchen sink rendezvous was suddenly hyperaware, modeling scenarios and impossible questions that were about twelve-and-a-half minutes too late: What now?
Will this kill our friendship?
What about our parents?
Does he like me, or was he just messing around?
Will it happen again?
How do we tell Mia?
Why did he say it's our secret?