how I feel

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No guy is ever going to like me. I'm fat and ugly. I was looking back on the video of me dancing with him and he smiled as soon as we started dancing together. And he would look at me and smile and it looked like if he actually liked me. It was amazing. Even that time when I was smiling at you and you smiled back. Although you didn't know I was actually laughing at you because your chin was pink. But still. You'd smile then I'd smile. Everything was perfect until you started to dance with her. You looked happy with her too. I saw that you danced with her a couple of times. I know its your job but it made me jealous. Although we spent a lot of time together that day it still hurt me. Because I know you'd never like me. You were just smiling and being nice and dancing with me because its your job. I know you don't have any feelings for me. I know Lisa is your type of girl. Not me nor will I ever be. I'm just not pretty nor skinny. I'm just not good enough. I'm unlikabke.How could I ever think that you'd ever really like me? There's no way. I'm just delusional. Of course you'd never like ME. Although my mother said she thought you did. I know its not true. She's just probably wants to make me feel better. But it doesn't always work. I know you don't like me. And you probably liked her. Not me. Not ever.

11:10 p.m.
4-7-17

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