The State of the Universe

Here We Go

"You had a goat named Lady."

Katniss feels a pang inside of her that she snuffs out. Peeta's health and assurance is more important than her leftover feelings for a dead goat, and Peeta never reminds her of Prim if he can help it. (Dr. Aurelius said that she had to face her emotions eventually, but Peeta refuses to be the instigator.)

"Real."

He bites his lip. "Pink ribbons."

"We had one for Lady. She wore it around her neck." Until it fell apart, Katniss thinks, because it's not good to remind Peeta of how age always destroys things in the end.

"And your house..."

"It was around here." Katniss can easily pick out the wreckage that she called home for sixteen years, and wonders if it's not better that it was finally destroyed. You have to tear down before you can build up again, and the Seam would've held on for another hundred years if anyone had let it.

"It was destroyed?" Peeta's eyebrow furrows, and Katniss thinks that his breathing is getting uneven. It's time to stop talking about destruction. Peeta knows about what happened to 12, who doesn't, but he's not supposed to think about it too much. And Katniss won't be the instigator for another talk about death.

XXXXX

Gale doesn't want to come back to 12. Gale is happy in 2. Gale didn't understand why Rory felt the need to go back.

But Rory had to see where it all happened just one more time. District 12 was home, and it was a place where Rory could have died infinite times, but Rory finds as he steps off of the train that it still feels like home. Make of that what you will, but Rory doesn't think that it's so bad to like home better than a place like 2, which was one their side in the end but still produced Careers for sixty-odd years.

Rory wasn't allowed to visit 12 during their stay in 13, he didn't have the special privileges that the Mockingjay (it's weird to think of Katniss as that) did, so maybe the effect isn't as bad as it would have been.

The Square's been fairly cleaned up and picked around, some new buildings in place of what used to be there. The wood is clean and new-looking, and Rory's surprised that no coal dust has gotten on it yet. It hurts to remember that the mines are closed down until they can get more manpower and more safety measures in place. But the farther you get from the center of town and the train station, the worse it gets, despite the fact that the Merchants were hit hardest when hell fell from the skies.

The neighborhood where he used to live has been cleared out, a few new buildings in place. Gale said that they should have more public housing, high-rises like there were in the lower Capitol, one of the only good things that the Capitol actually produced. Gale also says that no one is ever going to give attention back to 12, so Rory guesses that public housing is never going to be introduced.

He stands in the general area where his house used to stand, remembering all of the years that he spent there. He guesses that it's kind of amazing that he's still alive. He tries to appreciate that and finds that it's hard.

It's hard to believe that things are actually done with. The Capitol isn't in control anymore. Rory won't be expected to die in the mines. It's like a dream.

Real or not real? He asks himself, wondering if he'll wake up.

XXXXX

"Real or not real, kid?"

Haymitch knows that his smile is unsettlingly wide, and wonders if he should get some red lipstain just like the Capitol used to have. Except red reminds him a lot of blood, despite all of the wine that he drinks. Haymitch involuntarily wonders whether his lips are stained red anyway with alcohol, before remembering that he hasn't drunk anything but straight whiskey or water in weeks.