Embrace the Madness: The Joker and Felicia Sullivan

"So Called Plan"

Chapter Three: “So Called Plan”

            I sat idly on the bed, my face taking on a stoic expression as I stared blankly at the plain white wall surrounding me. If I wasn’t insane to begin with, then the months I had spent cramped up in the looney-bin must have driven me to it. Being trapped in my cage made seconds feel like hours, hours feel like days, and days feel like months on end; I no longer held any awareness of the time, the date or even whether it was the afternoon or the dead of night. I was beginning to lose hope in my little plan, realizing that if the Joker hadn’t escaped yet, then chances are Harleen wasn’t nearly as dim-witted as I initially thought.

            Come to think of it, the prospect of trying to outsmart the Joker himself, who loathed planning to no end, with a plan, started to strike me as either laughably ironic or just dead stupid. I had gone through a thousand different scenarios in my head, though being institutionalized had its disadvantages and left me with no way to carry any of them out. So far all of my meticulous planning was going about as well as the one that landed me in Arkham to begin with.

            I was taken out of my reverie by the sound of harsh, hasty footsteps making their way down the hallway that led to my cell. I turned my head to look through the bars of my prison only to see the same guard I had met on day one reach into his pocket and take out the key to the door that stood between me and my freedom. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of excitement course through me when he brought me out and took me and several other inmates down to dinner, which they all too often ‘forgot’ to feed us. 

            The cafeteria wasn’t much to look at, though she had to bet it was slightly less repulsive than the ones you would find in a prison. With the same sickeningly plain, white walls and grey-toned furnishings as the rest of the building, it was a constant reminder of how predictable and devoid of excitement life had become. The white linoleum floor became my only source of amusement as I tried to hop across it without touching any of the lines, attempting to keep my feet within the small squares as though stepping on a crease would bring my ultimate demise.

            When I finally reached the serving line I looked back to see the young guard staring at me with a nervous expression along with several of the not-quite-so-wacked-out inmates shooting me condescending looks that I could only compare to reprimanding a child. I cursed under my breath, attributing my sudden action to the absolute boredom that now consumed my every thought and action. I stopped in the line to stand in front of a balding woman with a face so saggy with age that it -coupled with the way her hips bulged out so dramatically wide that it made the progression from her legs down to her feet come to a sharp triangular point- gave her an appearance similar to that of a melting ice cream cone. I waited for a moment and allowed her to drop a mound of slippery mashed potatoes sloppily on my foam plate before continuing down the line.

            I looked around the room; like every day before this, there wasn’t a single person in sight that I would even consider sitting with. Call me crazy, but the old man in the corner, muttering unintelligible bullshit to himself at the top of his lungs as he stared out the window didn’t seem like the kind of fellow to engage in any stimulating small talk. I sighed and sat down at an empty table that was farthest away from the serving line and the array of guards stationed around the room, leaning back against the wall before attempting to down the ‘food’ set before me.

“Loooong time, no seeee,” a childish voice cooed behind me, catching me completely off guard before I realized who it belonged to, “eh Felix?”

“I guess you could say that,” I replied coldly, picking at my not-quite-so-green beans with my fork aimlessly.

“You know, Fe-lix,” the Joker said slowly after a brief moment of consideration, “I figured you’d be a lit-tle more, uh, fun today, wha-t with your prancing across the floor and all.”