Bittersweet Denial

Chapter 3

My eyes automatically dart to Carson. He was sitting there wringing his hands, looking like a child who just broke his mom's favorite vase and is trying to figure out what to do.

Maybe it's selfish of me, but i act on instincts. Even if we weren't a perfect match (or even a match at all), there was no reason for me to not show him a good time.

I saunter over to him with a plastered on smile, trying my hardest to make him feel like he has so far had a succesful (most likely first ever) date.

I look into his eyes and it's crystal clear that he knows its an act. He gives me a knowing nod and gentle smile as if to say thank you. I notice Sienna and whatever-his-name-is eyeing us. Perfect timing.

To boost Carson's confidence, and to make Sienna think I'm truly trying, i grab his hand. Leading him out the door of the movie theater - I walk us to the side of the building next to the second entrance into the lobby and drop his hand. We've gotten this far but now what do i say?

We both give eachother a half confused, half apologetic look. Neither of us knows what to say. I let us stand there in silence as we each look down at our sweaty palms, me waiting for mine to talk for me.

I decide that standing here trying to come up with some sort of explanation of the false attraction is pointless. I open my mouth but choke before i can talk and start coughing. How graceful.

Carson runs back into the theater lobby and grabs his drink off the bench and brings it to me. I wave my hand to let him know that I'm fine and look up at him. Judging by his expression and the stickiness of my palm, I swiped off what was left of my lipstick mid-choke. We both start laughing.

For a slight second after I'm done laughing I think that maybe i could like this guy. For a slight second before i remembered who he was... Who he wasn't.

I become self-aware all at once realizing i had been holding my breath. Immediately after exhaling I clumsily search for words knowing we don't have much more time before Sienna comes looking for me.

"Um. Carson. I uh-"

"THANK GOD. It's okay, I understand. And thank you."

"Thank you for what?"
I say a bit too loudly after skipping over the rest of his statement.

"For in there. I know what you did, now. I don't know much about girls or relationships but i know that you don't like me the way you acted like you did in there"

"I just thought-"

He starts laughing again
"Rhea. It's totally fine. I appreciate it actually, i mean you're nice and beautiful but Im not interested in you in that way either. No offence."

The mood instantly lightens up.

" None taken. But you are a pretty good actor then. I was scared i was gonna break your heart out here."

"Pshhh. I was scared of the same thing. I mean I'm such a ladie's man, right ?"

"Just as much of a ladie's man as you were working at the flower shop last summer. Just a little more muscle", i joke.

"Hey! I'm getting there. At least I'm not as insecure as bef- nevermind. I am. It's just you."

"What do you mean it's just me? You've been a nervous wreck this whole time."

"Well that's because i thought you liked me."

"Oh so i scare you?", I say partially serious.

"No. Not at all. It was just different because you are like the first female i ever talked to. I've always been comfortable with you since bio last year and then the flower shop like you said but that was when i KNEW you didnt like me."

"I still don't understand"

"I'm saying i was comfortable before because you were a friend. Then today you weren't. You were a real girl that i thought had feelings for me and it was scary. Now that i know you're a friend again i can be myself like before."

"So, we're friend's again?"

"Duh. You just covered my ass. My 'step brother' Dean in there with your lovely bimbo was going to ruff me up if i didn't 'man up' tonight."

"Well that explains it."

"No I'm not saying we're only friend's because you acted like you liked me ! I think you're cool. I always have since last ye-"

"No not that dude. I was saying that explains why you're with - as i say "Sienna's douche of the week." He didn't strike me as the type of guy nice, shy guy Carson would hang around."

"I absolutely can't stand him. He is the reason i didn't start actually talking to people until this year. He's bullied me since my mom met his dad when we were in the 6th grade."

I see Sienna through the glass door of Sunshine Cinemas walking out with 'Dean' lightly slumped over her shoulder

"We'll have to finish this conversation some other time my friend. For now, act like we're falling in love."

Carson traces his hand down the side of my face stopping me in my tracks, lowers his face to mine and gets really close. I close my eyes and feel his breath in front of my lips

"They're watching from behind us. Turn your face 30° to the right."

We stay like that for a few more seconds then pull away knowing Sienna and Dean thought it was real. Knowing we got away with it.

This is going to be a good friendship.