how many tears must i cry before you see me?
i am rolling in unwashed sheets, bathing in cool darkness, pretending my heart is not bruised.
my ceiling is a tapestry of plastic glow in the dark stars from my childhood (i have a habit of sticking pieces of my past onto my present) and i miss you i miss you i miss you baby i miss the way you held my hand and spun me around and danced and kissed my cheek and dragged me to the ends of the world with you because you knew i'd never follow anyone else.
but i didn't know that at the end of every road was a bleak motel where i'd wait dreary afternoons for your return that never came.
i was (am) a fool in love and like every greek tragedy, i never learn that love is the quivering fear in your chest as you bleed out on the cold, hard ground.
so fuck you. fuck you for leaving me when my eyes were closed and my arms were wrapped around your waist like some lonely bitch.
