How to Save a Life

Chapter 1

|| I'm back at it again wow. As usual: No beta, let me know if you find any mistakes. Feed back would be nice. (Please be kind if you do give feedback) 

 Bucky should have known it was far to good to be true. Why should he get to have happiness in his life? What did he ever do to deserve it? An even better question was what did he ever do to deserve to have Steve in his life. Nothing, that is what. And he knew that, which was how he got to the point where he was now. Sitting on a roof in the pouring rain with a bottle of vodka in his hand. The rain drops mixed in with the tears that fell from his blue eyes as he took another swig of the drink. It wasn't like he had to think of when his life went to shit, he knew the exact moment.

It all started eleven years ago. Bucky was ten years old and in the car with his dad. They were going someplace, he couldn't remember where anymore. He wish he could. It seemed like every day his memories of his father went farther and farther away from him. The only things he could remember was that it was a rainy night. There was suppose to be a hurricane hitting that night but it had shifted away from where Bucky lived. However, the wind and rain were still strong. Bucky was sat in the front seat with his dad, watching the trees go by, listening to his father sing along with the radio. That was right before he heard his father let out a sharp breath, something he had never heard his father do before, as his right arm moved to protect the small boy covering the brunettes chest. Bucky didn't know what his dad was doing. Turning his head he saw his dad's face. Fear was written all over.

"Dad?" He questioned, his small hand moving to touch his dads arm. That was the last thing he remembered from that night before darkness overtook his vision. The last night Bucky Barnes was actually happy. It wasn't for another few days did he actually wake up.

It was morning when his eyes finally opened. The sun was shinning through the window and birds were flying around. Complete opposite from the last time his eyes were opened. The brunette tried to sit up but let out a hiss of pain when he put pressure on his left arm. Instantly, his eyes darted over to look to see what happened. Just as he did so, a nurse and his mother, Winifred, walked in. Fear, just like on his fathers face, was showing when he saw his arm was covered. Bucky looked over to his mom, the same expression on his face. What happened? Where was he? Where was his dad? All of these questions ran through his mind as the nurse walked over and began to check his vitals. He couldn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. No one else had said anything either. Why wasn't anyone talking? Did he do something he wasn't suppose to? Where they upset with him? Bucky searched his mom's face trying to find answers to all of his questions. But all he could see was sadness.

"Mama?" He said as she walked over to him, his eyebrows furrowed making him wince when he felt a tug on what apparently was a cut. His mom ran her fingers through his locks as the nurse smiled sadly at the boy as she carefully removed the bandages that were covering his left arm.

"I'm glad to see you awake, James." She said as she threw the bandage in the trash. Bucky turned his attention back to his arm, not caring what the nurse lady had to say. He didn't want to talk to her. He wanted to see why his arm was covered. His mouth opened in shock as he saw the stitches and bruises that covered his arm. Some dried blood was left in places. No wonder it hurt so much.

"It still has a long way to go, but it's healing properly so far. " She said to his mom, not him has she cleaned the wounds up before she turned to walk out leaving Bucky and his mom alone in the room. Bucky couldn't look away from his arm. Now that he had seen what it looked like, how would he be able to look away? How would anyone look at him after seeing that? Tears were forming in his eyes.

"Oh sweetheart..." His mother sat down on the edge of the bed, carefully bringing her son into her arms. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut as the tears began to fall. He never sobbed out loud, not even when he was younger. He was a quiet cryer and it broke his mothers heart. What made this situation even harder for her was she knew she was going to have to tell him about his father soon but she didn't know how. She was still grieving herself. Winifred carefully wrapped an arm around the small child and kissed his head, tears running down her face and landing on Bucky's head.

"I'm so sorry..." She whispered into his hair. Bucky's body shuttered under her touch. Winifred felt Bucky's tears fall onto her arm. Without saying another word, she wiped the tears from her sons face with the padding of her thumb. Words wouldn't be able to fix anything right now. She knew that. But She had her Bucky. At least she didn't lose him... Yet.

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With everything that had happened with the crash, Bucky remembered that moment as clear as day. He remembered his mother telling him his father wouldn't be coming back. That it was just going to be the two of them for now on. Bucky didn't just lose his dad that day, he lost a part of himself too. Looking up at the sky, he let the tears continue to fall silently down his face. Just like they did that day. Only now his mother wasn't there to clear them away. At least he wouldn't disappoint her anymore. He wouldn't be doing much of anything anymore.