Just Be Friends

Just a friend

I woke up by the sound of my stupid alarm clock.. or was it? I got another painful dream. And this time it was the time when he told me that he loves her very much. I heave a deep sigh and sit up on my bed, I quickly roam my gaze around my room and to my clock.

7:55 am. Shit.

I'm late, very late. I thought. Oh well, it's our math class and I don't want to go anyway.. not because I hate the teacher and the subject, even though I don't do well in math subjects I strive hard not to fail it. It's just that I don't feel like going right now, maybe because I'm sick? No, it's because I don't want to see her.. with him.

Holding his hands and intertwining them infront of me.

Exchanging gazes with him.

And saying I love you to her.

kring! kring! kring! Oh? I heard my phone ringing on my desk so I took the time to stand up and pick it up then see who it was. sighs.

Jiyong oppa.

Should I pick it up? Should I not pick it up? I shake my head and eventually decided not to answer it. I chose not to go to class today because of him and now even at home, he's presence lingers? I gather all my courage to end the call, meaning cancelling it and it's the first time! I never end calls, especially when it comes to him. Because of course I want to talk to him, I want to say all the things I want to say well except one... "I love you, Jiyong-ah" I whisper under my breaths. I quickly put my phone back on my desk and jumps on my bed, rolling on it. Ugh. I hate this. I hate what I am feeling right now. I hate that I love you so. 

kring! kring! kring! I look at my phone on my desk again and sighs. Go away! Shut up phone or else I'll kill you!! I threatened my phone, crazy isn't it? Now, I'm speaking to my phone. Damn. But then it rings again. "What the--!! Yah! Do you want to die that bad huh!?" I shouted as I stand up and take my phone and point at it. And I pressed end call again. "Please.. don't" I pray, hoping that he won't call again and he didn't, but instead a message came in and it was from him.

From: Jiyong oppa.

Answer it or I'll throw Gaho at you later. 

Scoffs. Yeah right. Like hell you would come here and bring Gaho.. I know you won't come here because I know you'll be with her and I know you like being with her, right? I said inside my head and looking at my phone when another message came in again.

From: Jiyong oppa.

Seriously answer it. I'm worried, why aren't you answering my calls? Are you ignoring or avoiding me?

Yes. Yes I do. I don't want to see you, smell you, or hear you. It might make me fall in love with you again.. so fucking hard. And it hurts so bad. It's painful. Your kindness and comforts is a venom.. a poison to me. It's making me die. 

To: Jiyong oppa.

No.

I replied. To give him answer. So that it'll make him stop calling me right? And I don't have to press end call the whole time.