Broken

Chapter 5: Dreams

Freya
I woke up panting. My heart racing out of my chest. Sweat dripping from my brow. My eyes rapidly observed around the room, trying to figure out what happened. Maybe I fell asleep after William left or when I was done with chores. That was the worst dream ever. I told William...everything. He actually cared about me. Whatever, it was just a dream. No one would care about my problems anyways, not like I want them to or anything.

I check the time and it was 4:24 AM. Saige was still sleep, so I head downstairs for a drink of water. I tried to be as quiet as possible. The house was lit up by the moonlight, which reflected off the water in my cup. As I sip the cool water, I look out the glass door that led to a field of grass.

I notice a reflection in the window, coming from behind me. I slowly put my cup down and felt I huge hand grip my shoulder. Too frightened, I stood there like a statue. My breathing got heavy. A cold chill blew on my neck. I slowly turn around and saw Rodrick. His brown eyes weren't as scary but the were still empty. No feeling. No emotion. Like his body wasn't running on blood, he was cold.

"Is everything alright Freya?" His voice wasn't as harsh as before, his grip was still firm and painful. Shit. What am I supposed to do? If I make my pain noticeable he'll hurt me.

"Sorry if I woke you," I clutched my cup as hard as I could, almost breaking it. "I'll leave you alone." I quickly gulp down my drink and run upstairs.

Running in the room, I carefully close the door to make sure not to wake Saige. I slide my back down the door and sit with my knees to my chest. I bite my lip trying to fight back the tears I've been holding in for awhile as I grip the side of my pants. I cry. Silently. Bawling my eyes out. I was so scared. I wanted to scream. Just scream. And scream. And...scream.

Why does the pain hurt so bad? Why am I here? Why does this happen to me? Why me? Why am I still afraid? Am I weak? I hate this.
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"Freya wake up!" Something starts to shake me. "Get up. Can't you hear the alarm going off!?"

"I don't want to leave. I feel safe here. In this dark quiet place in my head. I'm at peace. I'm tired of fighting. What the hell do you want?"

I quickly open my eyes and see Saige hovering over me. Suddenly I remember what happened last night and how I was crying. I quickly cover my face and walked to the bathroom.

I look at myself in the mirror. Dried blood painted the side of my face. At that point I felt numb. Like I didn't care for anything anymore. Like nothing matters and everything is pointless. I wipe off the blood with a warm face towel and thought to myself. "Maybe I should open up. I shouldn't be so uptight. Let someone in. Don't be so bitter at the world." But I knew I wasn't gonna do that.

I slip on some clothes, and made up the beds. Surprisingly I made sure to grab something to eat. I lost a lot of blood last night crying. I might as well eat. Saige had already been waiting at the door. Even though he saw the not-so-good state I was in, he never questioned about it.

I popped open a book and walk off the porch with Saige in front of me. I couldn't even focus on the words on the page. At the moment I forgot I was even walking. I couldn't stop thinking about last night. Or that dream. They still remained in my head. I should most likely avoid William, like I should have done the first time but that day in the janitors rooms... I shouldn't have said anything at all. It's just that look in his eye. I never got that look from anyone before. Not even from Saige. I don't know what it was but...it felt nice. Like I could almost smile with him.

I stare at the ground thinking. Feeling a sharp pain in my finger, I snap back into reality and get on the bus. Looking down I noticed a paper cut on my finger. I guess I wasn't paying attention to the pages. It was quiet on the bus this morning. The whole ride to school. Like the silence was meant to be for me. My own resting place for thinking. It was a good thing for a change.