Some Faded Love | Shmateo_ | Book 2 |

01

Sierra's POV: 

"Ju I-" He groaned and walked out of the door. 

Was that the end of our relationship? Were we maturing and becoming adults? I don't know. He walked out on me. 

I was woken up by crying. Almost every night I had that same flashback. The disappointed look on Mateo's face. Little does he know that he has beautiful little girl named, Brianna. After I took the pregnancy tests, a lot of them came out positive. Then I went to the doctor, turned out I was six weeks pregnant. Ayo and Cece visit me a lot. I moved out of the apartment that Cece and shared and bought my own. It was nothing big. 

"Hey Bri. Mama's here." I picked up my four month old daughter. I fed her, changed her diaper, and tried putting her back to bed. Darian was turning one super soon. I remember when I first held him, with Mateo. 

Speaking of Mateo, we don't see each other often anymore. I remember not going one day without him for a whole year. I don't want Brianna to grow up how I did. I want Mateo in her life. I want her to have a dad. I'm glad she has Darian in her life as a big brother. Right now I'm just a single mother. Where did we go so wrong so quick? 

As I put Bri back to sleep, the doorbell rang. It was like three in the morning and seriously who could it be? I opened the door, and there was my ex boyfriend. The one I feel like I could love forever. 

"Mateo..?" I looked up at him. 

"Juju, I have to tell you something..." He walks in and closes the door. 

"What is it?" I asked. 

"Ju I..." He held my waist. 

I snapped out of my thoughts. Man, no one else had me like Mateo. I miss him so much. The doorbell rang once again. This time I wasn't thinking. It was actually him. Right at my front door. He looked kinda, upset? 

"Mateo..?" I looked up at him. 

"Juju..." He walked in. 

"What-" I started. 

"You lied. You said you got an abortion... Here I am, still lookin' at your Instagram with our baby girl Brianna." Mateo grabbed me by my waist. I could smell his breath, alcohol. 

"You've been drinking.." I tried pushing him away. 

"Yeah, but I'm completely fine." He looked me in my eyes. "Juju I freakin' miss you." 

"Don't call me Juju after you walked out a year ago. Don't come back to me with this "I miss you" shit because you know well that I don't believe in this." I started crying. But I was mad. 

"What..?" He shook his head. 

"Mateo, you walked out on me... And your brother made sure I was always okay without you around. It hurt me because he still loved Cece when she told him. And you know what, they got married. And they are raising Darian happily." I pushed him away. 

"I still love you." Mateo tried coming closer. 

"You don't think I still love you? I think about you every fucking day of my life. I see you in Brianna. And all over my Instagram I see the Juju and Mateo Power Couple posts. I hate living like this. Your words made me believe that ya know maybe we are forever." I shrugged. Mateo pulled me by my waist and kissed me. I couldn't help but kiss back. 

"I'm sorry..." He looked me in my eyes. I had tears running down my face and he wiped them away. "I still love you, the way I did a year back." 

"I don't know if I can believe you or not..." I looked down. 

"Give me a chance, please." He tilted up my chin. 

"You can be in Brianna's life, but I don't want anything to do with our relationship." I stepped back from him and went into Brianna's room. 

"I can't be a parent. I don't know how.." He followed me. 

"I didn't know how either... You learn.." I shrugged. 

"Okay, but what if when she gets older and ask why mom and dad don't have a nice relationship?" He pulled me by my arm. 

"Well, daddy can tell his princess what happened before she was born. I'm sure she'll get why.." I gave him a fake smile. 

"Juju, I'm trying here." He said with frustration. 

"You been sayin that for the last year, when are you gonna stop trying and actually make a move?" I snapped at him. 

He was gonna say something, but he just sighed. He picked up Brianna and looked at her. I smiled a little bit to myself. 

"She looks a lot like you..." He rocked her back and forth. "Does she have green eyes?" 

"Yeah, she does. But she looks like you too." I told him. "Every time she smiles or when she's mad. Cutest thing ever." 

"We made one beautiful child though." Mateo handed Brianna to me. 

"I want her to be a beautiful person too." I kissed her forehead. 

"You're so gentle with her." He tried to touch my arm. I flinched back. "Sorry, force of habit." 

"It's okay." I shook my head. "I'm workin' on myself right now after we sorta broke up..? I dunno." 

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